Chapter Fifty-Six: Letting Go of Obsessions

After Luo Qing hung up the phone in a fit of anger, my heart was brimming with joy. Although the truth remained unsolved, it no longer mattered to me. Walking out of the campus with Luo Qing, I enthusiastically pointed out several iconic buildings to her, but she seemed distracted until I began recounting some embarrassing antics from my college days, which finally piqued her interest.

After leaving the campus, we took a cab back to my place. Though she was reluctant to waste precious hours of the day, my earnest persuasion convinced her to come back and change clothes first. This allowed me, whose intentions lay elsewhere, to breathe a sigh of relief—no more awkward moments at the checkout counter with empty pockets.

Once home, I grabbed some cash and told Luo Qing to wait obediently while I went out to buy her clothes. She nodded in agreement. Seizing the chance, I shamelessly asked for her measurements under the pretense of buying clothes, expecting her to lose her temper, but instead, she merely rolled her eyes and responded with a retort that nearly choked me: "Just buy it according to Zhao Kewen's size—you know her measurements, don’t you?"

Crushed by defeat, I left the neighborhood. Amidst the bustling crowd, a sense of joy welled up within me. Compared to those struggling for a living, I felt myself closer to an ideal life. The more one pursues, the greater the desire; those who never learn contentment will end up battered and bruised. Though it sounded like self-consolation, I genuinely sought such a life—food to eat, clothes to wear, love, and dreams. That seemed enough to make a complete life.

I entered a mid-range clothing store, carefully searching for something suitable for Luo Qing. Though summer was ending, Yichun’s daytime was still sweltering, so a dress seemed apt. In the end, I chose a pure white dress that would accentuate Luo Qing’s tall, slender figure, making her appear even more pure and radiant. Judging from her usual attire, she preferred vivid reds to other colors, but dressed in red, she tended to get angry; I wished for her to live with a joyful and tranquil heart.

After paying, I hurried out with the dress. Strangely, I had grown accustomed to having Luo Qing by my side and longed for more time together. Even if I were just a frog, shouldn’t I strive for my beloved princess?

With that thought, I turned away from home and ran to a nearby ice cream shop.

“Boss, do you have strawberry ice cream? To go,” I asked, panting as I entered.

“Yes, don’t rush, I’ll make it right away,” the lady behind the counter said, gesturing for me to sit.

I nodded, then added, “And one pineapple flavor, please.”

She gave me an “OK” sign and smiled, heading to the back.

Seated, I gently placed the dress on the table, recalling Luo Qing’s joyful expression last time she ate ice cream, thinking again of her “cold dessert witch” nickname.

Soon, the owner returned, setting two boxes of ice cream in front of me. “Young man, are you buying these for your girlfriend?” she asked with a smile.

I hesitated, then nodded.

She gave me a knowing smile. “Why not write a message of love on top? What do you think?”

Sensing her intent, I nodded eagerly, though I requested the message be subtle.

“How should I write it? Both boxes are small, so there’s not much space…” she mused.

“I understand, thank you!” I pondered how to express my feelings without seeming abrupt. Luo Qing… Luo… Qing… I murmured her name, and suddenly an idea struck me.

“Boss, I’ve got it. Please write this…” I shared my idea, and she looked at me quizzically.

“Excuse me, is your girlfriend’s surname ‘An’?” she asked after considering my request.

I shook my head, smiling mysteriously, urging her to go ahead.

“You young people, always so secretive with romance…” she muttered, carrying the boxes to the back.

About five minutes later, she returned with the finished ice cream. I wanted to tip her for the effort, but she refused with a smile.

“Wishing you happiness in love!” she waved like an old friend.

“May your business thrive!” I replied.

Holding the dress and cold desserts, I flagged down a cab—not from exhaustion after a sleepless night, but fearing the ice cream would melt in this weather.

Soon I was back at the building entrance. The driver's surprised look drew my attention to a Lamborghini parked outside the unit, its pale yellow body flaunting opulence.

“What kind of people live here—tycoons?” the driver muttered, staring at the car.

I’d never seen a real Lamborghini before; recognition came from images and hearsay.

As I wondered how such a luxury car could appear at our rundown entrance, a pair emerged into view. The man, dressed in a pure white suit, was handsome with short hair, his white shoes gleaming in the sunlight. The woman wore a red evening gown, her golden curls fluttering in the breeze, beautiful and captivating. They walked toward the luxury car, the man opening the door with gentlemanly grace, the woman smiling as she stepped in.

“What a stunning couple! Like they’ve stepped out of a movie!” the driver exclaimed, entranced as the pair entered the car.

Seeing Luo Qing enter the car with the stranger, I felt my blood ignite. I wanted to rush out and demand answers, but my hand trembled uncontrollably on the door handle, unable to muster any strength.

Witnessing everything firsthand, all my previous doubts suddenly resolved. My world plunged into darkness, devoid of light, as I watched the person I trusted deceive me hysterically, toying with me like a fool.

I lowered my head, clutching my chest as a stabbing pain pierced my heart. Luo Qing, do you have your reasons? But why, why must you deceive me again and again?

“Hey, are you alright?” the driver asked, noticing my pallor, and patted my shoulder.

I slowly raised my head; the Lamborghini was gone, leaving only the battered entrance open before me.

I shook my head at the driver, pulled all the cash from my wallet and pressed it into his hand, then struggled toward the entrance.

“Young man, what are you doing?” The driver chased after me, grabbed my arm, stuffed the extra hundreds back into my pocket, and handed me the dress and ice cream I’d left in the car, then hurried off.

At that moment, I felt like a walking corpse, dragging heavy feet, desperate only to return home, my mind incapable of processing anything but the urge to rest.

Mechanically, I opened the door and found a small note on the table. Suddenly, strength surged through me as I rushed over and unfolded the note, the neat handwriting reading: “Yang Chen, I’m sorry, I can’t go to the amusement park with you!”

“Heh… hehehe…” I laughed foolishly, collapsing onto the bed. She must have known it would end this way, right? I crumpled the note and hurled it to the floor, kicking it away. Clearly, I’d been deluding myself. I was pathetic. I slapped myself hard, then lay on the stiff bed, determined never again to seek such self-inflicted suffering.

Grabbing the pillow and pressing it firmly over my head, I desperately tried to forget everything—every memory tied to Luo Qing. I couldn’t go on like this; the deeper I fell, the more hopeless I’d become. Unconsciously, I had grown infatuated with her: her voice, her smile, her straightforward and righteous nature.

I had to pull myself out of this mire. Luo Qing and I were fundamentally from different worlds; why did I grovel for someone I could never have?

I had always sought an ideal love, a genuine relationship without differences in status or wealth. I was too stubborn. All my suffering was self-inflicted; I had no right to blame Luo Qing. She had done nothing wrong; it was my own actions that pushed me toward her, trying to invade her world.

It was always me who fantasized about being her boyfriend. Luo Qing never said she wanted anything more than friendship, did she? It was my fault—like with Zhang Jiaxin before. My incompetence drove away those who wanted to approach me, and my one-sided wishes ruined pure friendships.

Perhaps I truly needed to change—not just my actions, but my fantasies. There’s no such thing as ideal love in this world; I must let go, or even the most basic bonds of family will slip away…

If I can’t find someone I love, why not accept those who love me?

I tossed aside the pillow, picked up my phone, found the number that once troubled me, hesitated for a moment, and finally dialed.