Chapter 43: Giving Up

I took the key, a thousand emotions welling up within me. I don’t know when it started, but that small room had become a repository for so much of my life—the laughter and bickering with Zhao Kewen, the lingering, ambiguous longings for Luo Qing... To me, the memories stored there were priceless treasures.

"Why did you keep it? Didn't I tell you to return it?" I feigned annoyance as I tucked the key into my pocket.

"Take it or leave it. Do you want to give it back?" Luo Qing wasn't falling for my act. Dressed in a hospital gown, she sat cross-legged on the bed, looking delicate and lovely.

Watching her pout, I chuckled, stood up, and stretched. "You’re still weak. You have to eat something. Look at the time; it’ll be noon before you know it."

"But I’m not hungry!"

"Be good."

"Fine... go buy something, I'll wait for you." Seemingly at a loss with me, Luo Qing walked to the coat rack, pulled a bank card from her pocket, and headed toward me.

"Stop right there!" I stepped back quickly. "Don't do that. I can't take it."

"Why?" Luo Qing pressed on, crowding me until I was pinned against the door. She looked up at me, her tone sharp. "You’ve grown timid after just a few days apart. Did you do something you shouldn't have?"

"I, Yang Chen, have always been an upright man. When have I ever done anything shameful? Besides, we’re just friends now. You pulling out your card every other second—how am I supposed to handle that? I can't say much else, but I can at least afford to buy you a few meals."

Luo Qing faltered at my words. She lowered her head, turned around, and climbed back into bed, retreating under the covers.

I wondered what was wrong with the "Lady Knight" now. She had been fine just a moment ago—how did the atmosphere shift so suddenly? Had I said something wrong? Seeing her like this, I couldn't just walk away. I went to the bedside and spoke as gently as I could: "What’s wrong, Lady Knight? Is something bothering you? Tell me about it."

But no matter how I coaxed her, she remained motionless under the quilt, silent.

After lingering by the bed for a while, I realized it was better to leave her be. I lowered my head and whispered to the quilt, "Get some rest. I’ll be back soon."

Sighing, I opened the door to leave. Just then, a hoarse voice came from behind me: "Yang Chen... you jerk!"

I turned, startled, to see Luo Qing had kicked off the blanket and sat up, her eyes red and streaming with tears.

Before I could speak, she sobbed, her voice thick and indistinct: "Is this really how it ends?"

I knew what she meant, but the fundamental issues between us remained unresolved. She was still the noble one, and I, the humble one. Once, she had given up on me, and I had abandoned my dreams. Hadn't everything already come to an end? Even with all the lingering attachment, those were merely memories. Time would not flow backward; we could not return to what we were.

I wanted to leave, but my feet felt too heavy to move. Seeing Luo Qing weeping, my heart shattered. I didn't want to see her in pain, nor could I bear to make her sad... but what did sadness matter in the face of reality? Our love was fragile after all, unable to withstand the storm or escape the grip of fate. Regardless of the promises or the beautiful moments, everything had to pass.

I walked over and knelt before her, pulling her delicate frame into a gentle embrace. I could feel the trembling in our hearts. Some things should no longer be left in the gray. A long-term pain is worse than a short one; it is better to forget each other in the wide world than to struggle together in a dying pool.

"Luo Qing, it’s over." I smiled bitterly, my voice and hands shaking. "From now on, we are just friends. If... if you can't accept that, I will leave you forever. I’ll leave Yichun, this place that I both love and hate... Please, don't cry for a coward like me anymore, okay?"

Luo Qing’s body began to struggle, and before I could react, she lunged forward and bit my lip. A sharp pain pierced through me, but I didn't flinch. If this allowed her to vent, then so be it. What was this small pain compared to the destruction of our love?

Gradually, I tasted the saltiness of blood. I continued to hold her, patting her back to signal she should stop crying.

Finally, she pulled away, staring into my eyes with tear-filled gaze, and whispered, "Does it hurt?"

I shook my head, though the blood continued to flow. A bitter taste filled my mouth. I didn't know how else to define this love, perhaps this parting was for the best.

I stood up and forced a smile. "I hope the Lady Knight feels better now. Wait here, I’m going to get you something good to eat."

"Yang Chen, don't leave Yichun... I’m willing to be your friend." Luo Qing wiped her tears and mirrored my awkward smile. "From now on, we’ll be great friends—the best kind. But we are no longer a couple. It is truly over between us."

Even though I had accepted this outcome, hearing her say it aloud felt like my heart was being torn apart.

"I’m going out. Get some rest."

"Wait..." Luo Qing reached out and handed me two tissues. "Wipe your mouth before you go, or people will think you got into a fight again!"

"You shouldn't just use hospital tissues like that!" I joked, taking the white paper from her.

"What are you talking about? I brought these myself." She pouted and wiped the corner of her eye. "Hurry up and wipe it! I don't want people getting the wrong idea!"

I smiled as I wiped the blood away. The contact with the wound stung, making me wince, but I wiped it clean.

"You really used it?" She looked at me in surprise, her wide, watery eyes blinking.

"What? Didn't you tell me to?" I asked, confused.

"I was just teasing you! I can't believe you actually used it!" She lowered her head, her delicate fingers tugging at her hem, her voice small. "Do you know what I have? It’s contagious... that’s why no one has visited me the last two days..."

I stared at her, stunned. "What illness do you have?"

"Viral hepatitis... I don't have long to live. I cried all night, and those tissues are stained with my tears—they’re full of the virus!" She turned her head away, her voice trembling. "I didn't mean to... I..."

I sighed. I didn't know if she was telling the truth, but did it matter? I almost felt that it would be better if I were infected; I could share in her suffering, and we wouldn't be lonely on the other side... Perhaps, to me, that would be a kind of happiness.

"It’s fine. I’d rather be infected." I patted her shoulder. "I'll apply to move into this room later. We can form a 'Virus Band' and sing until the end!"

Luo Qing slowly looked up at my indifferent expression, then fell silent.

"Get some rest. I’m going to get food."

I turned to go, but Luo Qing suddenly covered her mouth, giggling. She raised a small fist and tapped my shoulder, laughing until she was out of breath. "You idiot! If I really had a contagious disease, I would have been quarantined long ago. You think you’d be able to see me? And form a band? I wouldn't bother with you!"

It was just like her. I shook my head with a bitter smile and hurried out, feigning anger.

Come to think of it, Luo Qing and I were truly a strange pair. A tragic breakup scene somehow ended up like this.

In my view, even sorrow is a form of happiness in love, because feeling sadness proves you are still within it. But once you part ways, it becomes so hard to meet again.

Leaving the hospital, I found a decent restaurant, packed two hot dishes and rice, and then sought out a run-down ice cream shop that looked like it might close any day to get her favorite strawberry flavor. Only then did I return to the hospital satisfied.

I pushed open the door to Room 302 and stopped dead in my tracks. Luo Qing was gone. The clothes on the rack were missing, and there were no notes. My heart panicked—where had she gone? Was she okay?

Just as I was pacing like an ant on a hot pan, my phone rang. I saw it was Luo Qing and felt a wave of relief.

"Hey! Why are you running off like that?" I complained, irritated by her sudden disappearance.

"I’m not your girlfriend anymore, why do you care so much?" she retorted, unfazed by my frustration.

"Fine, fine. I bought you food. Where are you?"

"I’m back at the little room. I don't like eating in the hospital," she said casually.

"The little room?" I realized she meant my rental. She was the same as ever—doing whatever came to mind. She was just too impulsive.

I had no choice but to grab the food and ice cream and head to the run-down place I had called home for nearly two years.

Sitting in the taxi, I had only one thought in mind: once this was all over, I would go home, live a quiet life, listen to my parents, run a small grocery store, find an ordinary girl, and live in peace. I would no longer harbor unrealistic dreams, chase after phantom shores, or look forward to love.