Chapter Thirty-One: On the Train

Early the next morning, I arrived at the train station in the southern part of the city. Before the long, winding queues could form, I managed to purchase three tickets to my hometown.

My hometown, Jinlan, is located even further north than Yichun. By train, it takes about eleven hours. The tickets I bought were for the 8:30 AM departure, meaning I would reach familiar soil before nightfall completely set in.

Glancing at my watch, it was just past six in the morning—a bit too early to call Su Xuefei. After tucking the tickets away, I sat on a bench in the waiting area, closing my eyes to rest while trying to stay alert, terrified of accidentally oversleeping.

Last night, I had been busy discussing shop matters with Yang Xiaoyu and went to bed very late. Although she eventually accepted my "gift," she insisted on coming to see me off this morning. I firmly but politely declined her kindness; the most painful part of life is parting ways. Though I hadn't known Yang Xiaoyu for long, we shared a truly sincere friendship. I still felt a pang of reluctance at the thought of leaving her.

As for Shi Yu and Zhao Kewen, the two sisters who had cared for me so deeply, I didn't call to tell them I was leaving. I was afraid to see the sadness or the attempt to hold me back in their eyes. Even though I might never return to Yichun again, I would never forget their kindness. Perhaps when they marry, or when I have some free time in the future, I will come back to visit them.

Watching the scattered, busy men and women in the waiting room, I suddenly felt a sense of relief. At least I wasn't there with an urgent objective like many of them; my state of mind was simply the leisure of someone heading home after a trip. Although I hadn't achieved any real success in Yichun, I had at least fought and strived, experienced both poverty and modest comfort, loved and hated. While it was regrettable that I couldn't carry all of that into my new life—regrets that caused me some pain—I had no regrets about the experience itself. No one had ever restricted my choices; I had walked this path myself, and I had no reason to complain.

I opened my eyes and checked my phone. It was finally 7:00 AM. I hurriedly called Goddess Su to wake her up. If I had really just run off alone, I wondered if this pure and kind girl would have eventually lost her temper.

"Yang Chen, heading out so early?" Su Xuefei’s voice was still laced with drowsiness, sounding soft and sweet. "What time is the train? Little Ya and I are getting up to wash up now."

After telling her the train time and meeting point, I settled back into my seat. The waiting room, which had been chilly and quiet earlier, was filling up rapidly. In just a short while, nearly half the seats were occupied by people waiting for their trains. I even worried that if the crowd continued to grow at this rate, Goddess Su and Little Ya might not even find seats.

However, Goddess Su was quite efficient. Within half an hour, she appeared before me. To my surprise, other than a small handbag slung over her shoulder, she and Little Ya arrived completely empty-handed.

"I can understand Little Ya, but Goddess Su, are you sure you have no luggage?"

Su Xuefei glanced down at my stuffed suitcase and whispered, "There's nothing much to bring. I just packed some cosmetics, my phone, and my wallet. I can buy everything else once I get to your place."

"The world of the wealthy is truly beyond my understanding... But wait, don't you usually go without makeup? Since when do you use cosmetics?" I thought about it; in the few days I’d spent with her, I’d only seen her wear makeup once, and it was so light it was practically invisible.

"This is different. When I get to your place and meet your parents, I want to look my best."

"In my opinion, that's completely unnecessary. You're already at goddess level; aren't you satisfied yet?"

"Of course not. Who told me I was only in third place?" Su Xuefei said, looking a bit pouty as she recalled our previous conversation.

I sighed helplessly. What kind of logic is that? While beauty is a woman's nature, this was being too hard on herself. I couldn't help but think of a classic line from a comedy sketch: "Women, you have to be ruthless to yourself!"

Seeing that we still had enough time, I led Goddess Su and Little Ya to a nearby dumpling shop for some frozen dumplings, returning just in time to join the queue for our train.

I had Little Ya stand in front, Su Xuefei in the middle, and I took the rear. Trains are chaotic places filled with all kinds of people, and I couldn't let the pure Goddess Su be taken advantage of in such a crowd.

As the long line shuffled forward, I chatted with Su Xuefei about funny stories from our college days to pass the tedious waiting time.

"Does Goddess Su take the train often?"

Su Xuefei put on one earbud, adjusted the music, shook her head, and handed the other earbud to me. To my surprise, she was playing the Nightwish rock song *She Is My Sin*!

I gently tapped her shoulder and leaned over to her ear, whispering, "You like rock music?"

This time, she nodded slightly. I teased her, "I thought goddesses usually listened to violin or piano concertos!"

Just as the song ended, all three of us passed through the ticket gate. Seeing the somewhat intimate dynamic between me, Su Xuefei, and Li Xiaoya, I heard a woman in her thirties mutter, "Young people these days are too early. They’re still kids themselves, and their own child is already this big..."

Although the voice was low, all three of us heard it clearly. After stepping out of the waiting area, I saw Su Xuefei’s face turn into a blushing apple. I felt awkward too, while only the oblivious Li Xiaoya continued snacking on the treats I had bought her as if nothing had happened.

On the platform, I led Su Xuefei toward our carriage. Looking at the sea of people—men, women, young, and old—Li Xiaoya couldn't help but exclaim, "It's so spectacular!"

I pulled the suitcase with my right hand and walked quickly, with Su Xuefei and Li Xiaoya following close behind. The flow of people was too intense, so I instinctively grabbed Su Xuefei’s cool, small hand and pushed through the crowd toward our destination.

As if startled by my touch, Su Xuefei’s hand pulled back slightly. I quickly said, "Goddess Su, I’m not trying to take advantage of you. I’m just afraid we’ll get separated. If I lose you, I’m done for."

Su Xuefei didn't answer, but she tightened her grip on Li Xiaoya’s hand, making the little girl look up at her in confusion.

Finally, after a strenuous trek, I led them onto the carriage. Because it was so crowded, the entrance was blocked, and we couldn't move further inside.

"I'm sorry, Goddess Su. I bought the tickets too late, and I couldn't get sleeper berths—only hard seats..." I tried to shield them with my body, ensuring they wouldn't get bumped, and apologized sincerely.

"Why apologize? I'm not that delicate. A hard seat is fine; if you can sit there, so can I." Su Xuefei looked into my eyes and said earnestly, "Besides, we can chat more in the hard seat area. Sleepers are boring."

I knew she was mostly saying that to comfort me. I felt deeply guilty; before boarding, I hadn't thought much of it, but the overwhelming crowd made my self-reproach intensify. I felt terrible that they had to suffer because of me.

"Feifei, hold Little Ya tight. Let's move in first." As the people ahead found their seats and luggage was stowed away, the aisle cleared slightly. I quickly took Su Xuefei’s hand and led them to our seats.

After stowing the luggage, I let out a long sigh. Getting on this train was just like rushing to the cafeteria back in college—it required not just strength, but endurance and perseverance!

Su Xuefei sat by the window, I sat on the aisle, and I placed Li Xiaoya in the middle. It was better for a young girl to be on the inside; even if she felt sleepy, she would be more comfortable leaning against the wall, rather than being constantly woken up by people moving in and out, which would be infuriating.

The train finally started to move. Passengers began to chatter loudly about everything under the sun. I continued to listen to music with Goddess Su. She stared out the window in a daze, and I stared at her in a daze.

"Big brother, are we going somewhere very far?" Little Ya’s soft voice broke my train of thought.

"Yes, very far," I nodded. To a child, "far" is just a word or a number, but to me, it meant so much more. Distance doesn't always mean "far"; from Yichun to Jinlan is only an hour by plane, but for me, it was a place I could never return to, not even if I traveled by UFO.

"I miss my mom..." Little Ya whispered, looking at the unfamiliar surroundings.

I reached out and gently stroked her cheek. "Be good, Little Ya. You're just staying at my hometown with your big sister for a couple of days, and then you can go home to see your mom. Don't worry."

Little Ya nodded obediently, and I promptly opened a pack of snacks I had bought earlier and handed them to her.

Perhaps I really am too selfish... I looked quietly at Goddess Su, who was still staring out the window, then down at Li Xiaoya, who was busy eating chips, and sighed.