Chapter 33: This Morning Is Shy

Lying on my bed, I tossed and turned, unable to sleep.

The small single bed I was lying on was one my father had made for me by hand during my middle school years; a few wooden planks and some iron pipes, welded together simply. Gazing at the familiar ceiling, I couldn't settle my mind. I had finally returned home, so why didn't I feel that long-awaited sense of happiness?

I sat up, walked over to the cabinet, and took out the cigarettes I had bought at the train station earlier, lighting one with my lighter.

Watching the ethereal smoke, I tried to use this brief moment of anesthesia to empty my mind, hoping to fall asleep sooner. After all, it was my first day back, and there was much to do tomorrow. Besides, with Goddess Su and Li Xiaoya here, I had to take care of them while also leading these two girls around my hometown to see the sights.

Extinguishing the cigarette, I lay back down and stared blankly at the anime stickers I had pasted on the wall when I was a child.

"Yang Chen, are you asleep?"

Suddenly, a faint voice came from outside the door, and I was startled in the darkness.

"Goddess Su?"

"Yes."

I got out of bed and opened the door. Looking at Goddess Su, dressed in white, I whispered, "It's the middle of the night. Why aren't you sleeping? What are you doing at my room?"

"I have insomnia," Su Xuefei said as she walked into the room. She gently closed the door and said softly, "Why aren't you asleep?"

I was speechless. She was asking the obvious; if one is alone and not suffering from insomnia, who would be awake in the middle of the night?

"Perhaps my body isn't used to this unfamiliar environment," I said, throwing the quilt aside and making room for her. Su Xuefei sat down beside me.

Su Xuefei nodded, looking out through the window, and whispered, "Do you intend to stay here from now on?"

"What other choice is there?"

"It's quite nice, quiet and clear."

In truth, if not for being left with no other option, who would want to return to their hometown and become someone who never makes it out? After struggling in the outside world for several years, I ultimately couldn't change reality. If I had put that same time and energy here, perhaps I would have achieved some small measure of success by now. But given the difference in circumstances, this wasn't something a penniless person could easily change.

"Tomorrow, I'll take you and Xiaoya around town properly so you can see my hometown, and I can catch up on how it has changed over the years." I leaned back against the wall, and looking at Su Xuefei’s beautiful back, I was suddenly overwhelmed by a surge of emotion. I quickly sat up, afraid to look at her again.

Seeing my hyperactive behavior, Su Xuefei looked at me with her bright, beautiful eyes and smiled. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, just getting some pre-sleep exercise!"

Su Xuefei covered her mouth and giggled. She then mimicked my earlier posture, sitting back against the white wall and stretching lazily and comfortably.

"Get some rest early; we have breakfast tomorrow," I said, faking a yawn, and leaned sideways against the quilt I had pushed aside.

"Yang Chen, did you and your girlfriend break up completely?" Su Xuefei suddenly brought up this question, catching me off guard.

I nodded without hiding anything. Broken is broken, and I didn't care what others thought of me.

"Hehe... I'm suddenly so sleepy. I'm going back to bed!" Su Xuefei yawned as well, though to me, it looked quite similar to my earlier action—entirely fake!

"Yes, hurry back, or Xiaoya will make a fuss if she wakes up and doesn't see you." I got up, walked Goddess Su to the door, and whispered, "It’s so close, you don't need me to walk you, do you?"

Su Xuefei looked at me, thoughtful, and said, "How wonderful it would be if Xiaoya were our daughter."

"What?" I didn't seem to hear her clearly, or perhaps I failed to grasp the meaning behind her words.

"Nothing!" With that, Goddess Su ran back to her room as if fleeing.

The quiet night felt exceptionally cold under the frigid sky. I smoked another cigarette, then lay in bed and closed my eyes to rest. I don't know how much time passed before I finally fell into a deep sleep.

Perhaps the heavens were kind to me; the weather the next day was quite good. There was no snow, and the sunlight was warm, a break from the constant wind and snow of the previous days.

I opened the window, took a few deep breaths, and exhaled slowly, enjoying the peace and beauty of the place.

I walked to the room that used to be mine and knocked lightly, but there was no sound from inside. After waiting a moment, I turned the handle and cracked the door open. I didn't dare push it wide open; if these two girls had any peculiar sleeping habits and I saw something I shouldn't, they would surely fight me to the death. Especially Goddess Su—I had always considered her "unsullied by the mud," and I wouldn't take advantage of her.

Slowly opening the door, I saw Su Xuefei sleeping soundly, curled up and hugging Su Xiaoya. I smiled to myself, thinking that it made sense; she had always been a good girl and rarely stayed up late, unlike someone like me who lived with days and nights reversed.

"What are you peeking at!"

My body shuddered violently. Turning around, I found my mother looking at me with a feigned glare. I hurriedly shook my head and waved my hands to explain, "I swear I wasn't looking at anything I shouldn't be!"

"You brat..." My mother led me into the living room and whispered, "That Su girl, I have a feeling she’s a rare, good young woman. For a girl to come all the way home with a man like you, the relationship can't be shallow. I don't know how you’ve been living out there these past few years, but you need to seize the opportunity, understand?"

Though her words made sense, they were impractical. My relationship with Su Xuefei was just that of classmates, or at best, good friends. But hearing her implication that I should pursue Su Xuefei, I knew I couldn't do that—at least not now. I thought to myself that my mother’s imagination was quite vivid. While this era didn't emphasize social status as much, there were still plenty of barriers regarding a "talented man and a beautiful woman." I usually called her "Goddess Su"—was that something a mortal like me should be dreaming about?

Seeing that I lacked initiative, my mother said earnestly again, "I know you’re still thinking about Naonao, but she has already found someone else, hasn't she? And in terms of looks and temperament, to be blunt, Miss Su is a cut above Naonao."

I reached up and scratched my hair vigorously. Where was all this coming from?

Naonao, whose real name was Wang Siqi, was a girl I had grown up with; she could be considered my childhood sweetheart. I had liked this lively and active girl in the past, but after she cruelly rejected me, our contact dwindled. It had been two or three years since we last met. Being brought up with old scores like this made me want to pull my hair out.

"Alright, Mom, I know. Go make breakfast. Is Dad back yet?" I nodded quickly to agree, using the opportunity to change the subject.

"He's back; he's sleeping in the inner room." My mother seemed to sense my helplessness and decided to let it go, no longer discussing my love life.

After a while, the door opened. Goddess Su had already dressed and was sitting next to me. She whispered, "Yang Chen, I need to wash up..."

Seeing Su Xuefei’s slightly flushed face, I slapped my thigh. I was such an idiot; how could I have forgotten that? I quickly went to the bathroom, found a new toothbrush and toothpaste, and handed them to her. "Consider this your own home. If you need anything, just say so; there's no need to be shy."

Su Xuefei nodded obediently, and I left the bathroom, returning to the living room to sit on the sofa and boredly turn on the TV.

"Good morning, big brother." Li Xiaoya was awake too. She sat beside me and smiled.

"Good morning, Xiaoya. How did you sleep last night?" I pulled Xiaoya into my arms and found a channel playing cartoons.

Li Xiaoya nodded vigorously, indicating she had slept well, and then stared intently at the cartoon, completely mesmerized.

I laughed to myself. Sleeping in the arms of Goddess Su—that was the dream of so many geeks, a truly dream-like treatment.

After a while, Su Xuefei finished washing up. She sat beside me and Xiaoya, watching the cartoon, and whispered, "Yang Chen, have you seen this before?"

I looked at Goddess Su in astonishment, leaned into her ear, and said, "I never watch this kind of stuff, okay? How old am I? Still watching cartoons!"

Upon hearing this, Goddess Su’s face suddenly turned red. She turned her head away, refusing to look at me or the TV.

No way... I thought to myself. Goddess Su... likes watching cartoons meant for little kids?

I didn't dare say anything more. Su Xuefei was thin-skinned, and I was afraid that if I teased her any further, she’d be too embarrassed to stay, which would be a loss.

"Xiaoya, how was your rest?" Su Xuefei calmed her emotions before turning to ask Xiaoya the same question she had asked me.

"Yes, yes, Sister’s body is so soft; I slept very well." Li Xiaoya looked at Su Xuefei’s beautiful face and nodded.

"So soft?"

"So soft..."

Su Xuefei and I fell silent at the same time, stunned.

I subconsciously looked down from Su Xuefei’s gorgeous face, and at the same time, Su Xuefei’s face turned completely red, as if it were burning.

"I can't go on like this!" Su Xuefei shouted, stood up, and ran back to her room. She buried herself under the quilt, and no matter how I tried to persuade her, she wouldn't come out.

"What’s wrong with Sister... did I say something wrong?" Li Xiaoya’s innocent words had left Su Xuefei too embarrassed to face me. I shook my head helplessly at Xiaoya, signaling: You didn't say anything wrong; not a single word wrong...

"Sister’s embrace was really soft and comfortable..." Li Xiaoya said, feeling wronged. She seemed to blame herself and stopped watching the cartoon.

I told Xiaoya it was fine and to keep watching. Then, I walked up to the quilt Su Xuefei was hiding under and, after a moment of thought, whispered, "Goddess Su, Xiaoya was just complimenting you. Don't be so shy; be a good girl and come out to eat."

But the quilt only moved slightly, then fell still again.

There was no help for it; it seemed I had to use my ultimate move.