Chapter Thirty-Seven: Destruction and Rebirth

I listened to Zhao Kewen’s heartrending cries, unable for a long time to think of how to comfort this woman who had been ravaged by love until she was almost beyond recognition. Scattered people on the stone bridge—elderly and students alike—cast puzzled glances our way, but none approached to ask questions; they merely watched from afar.

As I stood there in a daze, Zhao Kewen climbed onto the railing, opened her arms as if to embrace the cool wind, her beautiful, reddened eyes glistening with tears, yet she still managed a faint smile. My heart was in turmoil—the ominous feeling I’d had seemed on the verge of becoming reality.

“Sister, don’t give up! Life’s journey is still long. We have to let go of the past, and perhaps ahead of us there are still people waiting for us, struggling just as we are!” I shouted, reaching out to pull her back.

She looked down at me, evading my hand, and spoke gently, “Little brother, thank you for being with me in my final days. But I can’t repay you any more…”

“No, don’t do this, I beg you!” I cried, nearly pleading with her to stop.

“Jiang Nan, farewell… If… I had never met you, perhaps things would have been much better?” Zhao Kewen murmured, then leaned forward, her toes barely touching the ground, and jumped into the flowing river below.

“No!” I stared, stunned, at the now-empty railing, then almost instinctively climbed over it and dove straight into the river.

Even in summer, the icy water cut across my skin like a knife. Zhao Kewen, who had jumped in first, was already being swept away by the turbulent current. I summoned all my strength, frantically swimming towards her; the alcohol in my veins seemed to vanish instantly, replaced with a faint, warming heat.

Just as my body grew numb, I finally grabbed hold of her cold hand. I tried desperately to pull her back, but the relentless current dragged us farther and farther from the shore.

Holding Zhao Kewen tightly in my arms, I paddled with all the strength left in my legs and one free hand, but my energy faded too quickly. Still some distance from the shore, a sudden, violent pain shot through my calf—I had a cramp.

This is the end… I stopped struggling, staring blankly at the crowd gathered on the bank. Faced with this scene, no one dared to come to our rescue. Was this how we would die, in despair? I knew that cramping while swimming was almost a death sentence; there was little hope of reaching the shore.

I squeezed Zhao Kewen’s hand tighter; for reasons unknown, she had already lost consciousness. I choked on water, the pain filling my nose and ears clouding my mind.

At death’s door, my heart grew strangely calm. I thought of Sister Shiyu’s gentle smile, of Luo Qing licking her ice cream… of the blush on Zhang Jiaxin’s face as she opened the hotel room door, of all the moments of joy and sorrow in my life… I wondered if, for the woman in my arms, it was happiness to leave quietly, without suffering as I did… How I wished I could die without such agony…

I felt my body sinking, my spirit about to part from my flesh.

“Young man! Over here, grab hold!”

At the sound, I instinctively reached out above the water, and miraculously caught a thin pole. My consciousness was fading, but I clung to this last straw with all my might.

I could feel my body slowly moving, the familiar cold receding, and a swelling, constricting sensation in my chest followed by an overwhelming urge to vomit.

“Ugh!” I spat out a mouthful of water; at the same time, I seemed to regain some strength and managed to slowly open my eyes.

A crowd surrounded me, faces alight with excitement and joy, their voices so loud I could barely distinguish their words.

I looked instinctively to my side and found Zhao Kewen lying quietly on the grass beside me. I pushed at her body in fear, and the moment I touched her, the terror gripping my throat finally eased—her body was still warm.

“The ambulance is on its way, hold on just a bit longer!” The voice seemed familiar, and I struggled to look toward its source.

It belonged to an old man wearing a straw hat, holding a long fishing rod.

I tried to speak, but found it nearly impossible; my throat felt stuffed, blocked. All I could do was memorize his face, hoping that one day I could find him and repay his life-saving kindness.

“You two young ones, so young, why would you think of such things? If I hadn’t come back for my fishing rod, you would’ve ended up feeding those river fish together!” the old man sighed.

I wanted to cry—truly, desperately—but I couldn’t. I had survived… The feeling was strange, a sense of escaping death, thrilling yet tinged with loss, as if suddenly nothing else mattered.

The ambulance soon arrived, and Zhao Kewen and I were lifted onto the vehicle with many hands.

Lying on the stretcher in the ambulance, I was dizzy and nauseous, but none of that could affect me any longer… In my mind, a single phrase repeated: It’s good to be alive!

With the wail of the siren, I finally closed my eyes, sinking into a deep sleep…

In the darkness, I felt as if I were burning up, calling out desperately, but hearing no one. I ran endlessly into the blackness, until I had no strength left, yet nothing around me changed; the endless dark enveloped my world.

I groped and shouted in the darkness, hoping to escape this silent torment, but everything remained unchanged. Just as I was about to fall into despair again, I finally saw a glimmer of light in the distance! I ran toward it, faster and faster, the light growing closer until I was engulfed in its brilliant white.

I could finally open my eyes and see the ceiling fan slowly turning, the incandescent lamp beside me casting a clean, white glow. Everything seemed to return to reality—no darkness, no blinding light, only the reality and fate awaiting me.

“Brother!”

Zhao Kewen’s trembling voice reached my ear from the side. I turned my head slightly and saw her, safe and sound, sitting by my bedside in a hospital gown, her pale face streaked with tears.

At that moment, seeing her unharmed, I could finally smile in relief. Everything was all right, everything… was all right…