Chapter Forty-Three: Shadows

Early the next morning, I washed up and left the house, planning to jog back and forth toward the main street a few times to exercise my body and also to ease the tension and anxiety that had pressed upon me these last few days.

As I stepped out, I deliberately glanced at Zhao Kewen’s door. The newly installed security door was tightly locked. I couldn’t tell whether she was sleeping in or had already left for some errand. My guess stemmed from observation: at least during the busy days leading up to the opening, I’d rarely seen her sleep late. Almost every morning, just as the sky began to lighten, she’d be out the door with her bag. I’d once asked her why, and she only smiled, saying she wanted to use the success of this bar to destroy her past. The constant running around had clearly left her looking a bit haggard, so it was only natural if now and then she allowed herself to sleep in.

The morning sunlight felt gentle, warming my skin. Bathed in this early light, it seemed the entire day would be filled with energy and vitality; a sense of confidence and determination seemed to shine into my chest along with those rays.

I jogged for about half an hour before my phone rang. The recently changed ringtone, “Fragrant Flowers,” fluttered through the crisp morning air, mingling with the phone’s vibrations. I remembered when I’d first changed it, Zhao Kewen had teased me for being nostalgic, old-fashioned. I’d laughed and replied, “Is true love ever old or new?”

I pulled out my phone, not knowing who was calling—having lost all my contacts still stung.

“Hello?”

“Chen, you’re up early! Off to work?” Luckily, it was a familiar voice—Sister Shi Yu. Her voice had a unique quality, gentle yet tinged with playful mischief, unmistakable.

“Not at all,” I teased. “Successful people these days don’t need to work.”

“Oh? How impressive!” She feigned surprise, clearly unimpressed by my bravado.

“Of course! If you stick with me, Sis, you’ll be living the high life before you know it—good food and luxury every day!”

“Wow, is that a promise?” She laughed. “So, tell me, does the great Yang have a girlfriend now?”

“Nope. Could it be… heh heh.” I chuckled mischievously.

“I wonder if your sister’s charms are enough to catch your eye? If you don’t mind, why not accept me as your consort and let me live the life of a wealthy lady for a few days?” She imitated an affected tone, but ended up laughing aloud.

“Haha! Sis, you’ll be a lady of leisure for sure, but don’t be too picky—just find yourself a devoted rich guy and don’t set the bar too high! As long as he’s better looking than me, of course.”

“You rascal!” She scolded me, still laughing.

“All right, enough joking. What made you call me this morning?”

“Are you off today?” She didn’t answer directly.

“Sis, actually, I’ve already quit my job at the supermarket. I’m off every day now…” I admitted sheepishly.

“Congratulations to the great Yang for rejoining the ranks of the unemployed!” she quipped without missing a beat, then paused before adding, “But as the old saying goes, a loss may turn out to be a gain. Don’t overthink it; if all else fails, you’ve got me to back you up.”

I couldn’t help noticing how much her way of speaking reminded me of Zhao Kewen—did all older sisters share that innate assertiveness?

“Don’t worry, I’m a grown man with hands and feet—I’ll never let myself starve.”

“If you’re so free, come out with me for a walk. It’s been ages since I relaxed; I just took a few days off and plan to enjoy them.” Her delicate voice carried a hint of excitement, as if she were really looking forward to her break.

“Sounds good. I actually have some things I wanted to ask you about.”

“You keep me company, I’ll answer your questions—deal?”

“Where shall I meet you?”

“Let’s meet by the little lake in the west of the city in half an hour. I suddenly feel like rowing; it’s been so long since I last did. Come with me to the West Lake and row a boat!”

“Okay!” I agreed readily.

If I could discuss the problems I hadn’t figured out with her, I was sure her experience and wisdom would help me break through. I had an almost blind trust in Sister Shi Yu—maybe because back when I sang at the bar, no matter what trouble I ran into, she always helped me through. I’d developed a sort of inexplicable dependence on her.

Seeing I still had plenty of time, I quickly grabbed breakfast at a nearby bun shop, then took a cab to the small park by West Lake.

Actually, this “West Lake” was only a small artificial lake in the west of Yichun’s largest park—Taoran Park. Whether day or night, the park was always crowded. That’s why I didn’t usually like going there; too many visitors made it noisy, hardly the place to relax and commune with nature.

I arrived at the lake’s ticket office ten minutes early. Knowing my own tendency to be late to the bar in the past, I was very familiar with Shi Yu’s character—she was always punctual and couldn’t stand lateness in others. Back then, I’d been scolded and given the cold shoulder by her for being late more times than I could count.

Sitting on the neatly trimmed grass by the lake, I idly watched the calm water and the couples rowing boats in the distance. A faint sense of loneliness crept over me. How long had it been since I’d been on my own like this…

Lost in thought, I suddenly felt a small hand lightly pat my shoulder. I looked up instinctively and saw Sister Shi Yu standing behind me with a smile, her tall figure perfectly outlined from my angle.

Today she wore a beige long dress and slim white heels, elegant and beautiful. Her fair face, framed by sunglasses of just the right size, revealed a charm both alluring and mature.

“Have you been waiting long?” She reached out her hand with a smile.

“I just got here,” I said, taking her hand and pointing toward the ticket booth. “Let’s go row a boat!”

“Okay!”

We strolled to the ticket counter. I paid for two tickets, and Sister Shi Yu hurried ahead to the pier, eager to pick out the prettiest boat.

I followed her onto the small boat. The hull rocked unsteadily, so I quickly sat down, feeling a strange mix of anxiety and unrest.

Shi Yu, delighted, took up the oars and made a show of rowing, but the boat didn’t move. With a laugh, she handed me the oars, urging me to row us out to the center of the lake.

Taking the wooden oar, I began rowing in earnest, and the boat finally started to move.

“It’s so beautiful,” Shi Yu said, removing her sunglasses and gazing at the birds crossing the sky. “If only I could be as free as they are—no work, no running around, just soaring wherever I please.”

As I listened to her musings, that odd feeling inside me only grew stronger—a tinge of fear, some unease, as if my heart was convulsing.

I rowed mechanically toward the center of the lake, my mood far from tranquil. I wrestled with this strange sensation, feeling not only mentally stifled but physically stiff as well.

“Chen? What are you thinking about? You’re so quiet, not even talking to me,” Shi Yu noticed something was wrong and tried to move closer.

Not wanting to spoil her mood—she worked so hard every day, a beautiful woman in her prime dealing constantly with people and problems, never complaining or showing sadness—I was determined not to let her feel anything but happiness today. I wanted her to relax and enjoy herself, as I always wished for her to do.

I waved my hand to show I was all right and quickly asked, “Sis, if you were rich in the future, where would you buy a house?”

She watched me silently for a moment, and seeing I seemed fine, she smiled and replied, “By the sea—somewhere you can see the ocean as soon as you open the window!”

“Facing the sea, with spring flowers blooming. That’s wonderful. You’ll make it, I’m sure,” I said sincerely.

She nodded with a smile, taking in the scenery.

“Ah, look, Yang Chen! What a big goldfish!” Suddenly, as if she’d discovered a new world, she waved me over and pointed into the water.

I leaned instinctively to look, seeing faint ripples and dazzling reflections that made me dizzy. Maybe it was the sunlight, but the lake seemed to tilt before my eyes, and I felt as if I were about to fall in!

Panicking, I rolled in the opposite direction and clung to the boat, gasping for breath. It was as if I’d woken from a nightmare—cold sweat trickled down my forehead, my heart pounding violently, my breathing heavy and labored, my chest tight as if I were about to suffocate.

Shi Yu realized something was wrong and hurried over to help. She seemed to be speaking, but I couldn’t hear a thing—only a sharp buzzing in my ears.

It felt just like… just like drowning, as if I were about to die in the water, trembling uncontrollably, reliving those days not long ago when I’d fallen in. It was as though my soul was being torn from my body, all struggle futile, waiting in despair for death’s verdict.

Slumped over the prow, the rocking of the boat made me even dizzier, the tightness in my chest growing worse. Suddenly, my stomach twisted, and an unstoppable wave of nausea surged into my mind.

Unable to restrain myself, I vomited copiously onto the boat, my breakfast spilling out, bits of half-digested food splattering onto Shi Yu’s pristine new dress as she patted my back soothingly…