Chapter Thirty-Four: Silence Amidst the Intoxication

Zhao Kewen and I strolled down the street. She had changed into a long white dress and carried an ordinary beige crossbody bag, a stark contrast to her usual flamboyant style. I wore the same pale blue short-sleeved shirt with a pair of casually matched shorts. Occasionally, when I glanced at our outfits, I thought we actually looked quite well-matched.

Earlier, Zhao Kewen had mentioned wanting me to go for a drink with her, so at this hour, the only suitable places were bars or barbecue joints. There was no way I’d let her go to a bar; I knew tonight would inevitably turn into a night of drinking until we dropped.

“Where shall we have a drink?” Zhao Kewen walked beside me, seeking my opinion.

“Let’s find a barbecue place up ahead. We can have something to eat as well, otherwise drinking on an empty stomach will be too hard on your stomach,” I said, pointing at the brightly lit pedestrian street.

She nodded, gazing silently at the nearby pedestrian street. It seemed she was still troubled by matters of the heart, but her earlier demeanor had projected a cheerful and optimistic façade. What the reality was, I could not guess. If she truly gave all her love to her previous boyfriend, and now could feign happiness without a trace after accepting the truth, then her strength of character was simply unimaginable.

So I kept speculating about her thoughts as we walked in silence. Soon, we reached the central area of the pedestrian street, where several barbecue stalls clustered together.

“Which place is good?” Zhao Kewen glanced around at the various signs, asking softly.

“I don’t come to these barbecue places much myself… You choose one. Whether it’s good or not, let’s go with it.” I usually preferred the main street for barbecue—a habit formed during university with Zhang Jiaxin. Even now, whenever I crave barbecue, I almost always go to that one place.

Hearing this, Zhao Kewen began to look around and finally pointed to a place ahead named “Exotic Fragrance Romance.”

Exotic Fragrance Romance? I repeated the name in my mind. I wondered whether the owner had chosen it deliberately, as its homonym sounded just like “Unrequited Love.”

We sat down on stools at the barbecue stall. A middle-aged woman soon approached to take our order.

She was slightly plump, wearing light makeup, and her work clothes were stained and messy, as if they hadn’t been washed in ages. She greeted us with a characteristic smile, while I picked up the menu and began ordering.

“Let’s start with two bags of beer, chilled,” Zhao Kewen said, idly playing with her fingernails.

Hearing Zhao Kewen order two bags of beer so boldly, I felt uneasy. One bag each was no problem for me, but if her tolerance was low and she got drunk here, it would be tough for me to take care of her. No matter how much I drank tonight, I had to stay clear-headed. I kept warning myself: as a man, it didn’t matter if I got drunk anywhere, but she, such a beautiful woman, if left unattended, could easily attract the wrong kind of attention.

Since I’d agreed to go drinking with her, I was obligated to look after her and make sure she got home safely. It was my responsibility, and as a man, it was something I had to do.

After ordering, the middle-aged woman soon brought over two bags of beer, just as Zhao Kewen wanted. I opened two bottles and started drinking; at times like this, it was best to go along with her.

“Come on, little brother, drink with your big sister tonight!” Zhao Kewen raised her bottle, not bothering with a glass, drinking straight from it.

“Alright,” I nodded and followed suit, drinking directly from the bottle.

So, bottle after bottle, we drank without saying much, simply alternating between one person lifting the bottle and the other following suit. I thought, drinking like this, we’d probably end up flat on our backs before the food even arrived.

After two bottles each, Zhao Kewen’s cheeks began to flush. Though her voice hadn’t changed much, she was obviously becoming more talkative.

“Tell me, little brother, why must people have love in their lives?”

“It’s the dual pursuit of body and soul,” I answered vaguely, because questions about love never have a definitive answer.

“So, in love, which is more important—the body or the soul?” Her voice was a little dreamy, perhaps the alcohol was starting to take effect.

“Spirit, of course!” I answered without hesitation, because a love that is rich and fulfilling spiritually is true love; physical satisfaction alone is just desire, not love at all. That’s how I see it—it’s the direction I pursue in love. Perhaps love is a blurry emotion that requires both body and spirit, but I’ve always believed that spirit holds the dominant place.

She listened, fell silent for a moment, then suddenly shook her head and laughed, before taking a fierce swig of beer.

I felt a pang of sympathy for this version of Zhao Kewen. Though she was unwilling to share her story, every sigh, every mouthful of beer, every self-mocking smile made me feel the weight of her past. Even so, I had no right, nor qualification, to shoulder any of it for her.

By the time we were halfway through the third bottle, the barbecue finally arrived. I quickly ate a few skewers to fill my stomach, while she sat quietly with her bottle, lost in thought.

“Sis, eat something, or I won’t drink with you anymore. I can’t just sit here and watch you suffer tonight,” I said, not knowing how else to persuade her, so I tried coaxing and threatening at the same time.

This tactic worked. After looking at me for a few seconds, she finally picked up a skewer and began to eat.

So I kept her company, drinking bottle after bottle, while most of the meat skewers disappeared into my stomach. On her side, only a handful of wooden sticks lay on the plate.

When the skewers were finished and the two bags of beer were completely emptied, I observed her state closely, trying to judge if she could still handle more. If I saw the slightest sign of drunkenness, I would take her home without hesitation.

After a while, I realized she could hold her liquor much better than I thought. At least after a bag of beer, she seemed none the worse for wear, her state not much different from when she arrived—just a bit flushed, her speech slightly slurred, but these were normal after-effects of drinking.

“Sis, here’s the letter Yang asked me to give you,” I said, seeing the moment was right, and took out Li Xuyang’s elegant envelope from my pocket.

When I mentioned Li Xuyang, Zhao Kewen’s expression flickered briefly, but soon returned to normal.

She took the envelope without a word or question, unusually decisive.

Just as I sighed in relief, thinking everything had gone smoothly, I watched as Zhao Kewen twisted the envelope in her hands several times and in one motion, tore the letter into countless pieces.