Chapter Thirty-Five: Do Not Continue Down the Wrong Path

I stared in astonishment at Zhao Ke Wen's actions, unable for a moment to find any words to dissuade her. She seemed to have no interest in even opening the envelope; she swiftly tore it into shreds and scattered them behind her. The fluttering scraps of paper, along with Li Xu Yang's longing, dissolved instantly into a flurry of snowflakes, settling on the ground stained with liquor and sand.

"Sis... Aren't you even going to see what he wrote?" I hesitated, unable to comprehend her behavior. Was she venting her frustration from the recent heartbreak on the innocent Li Xu Yang?

"It's already torn; what's the point in looking?" Zhao Ke Wen replied indifferently, then called loudly toward the barbecue shop, "Waiter, bring us two more bags of beer!"

Her words made me sweat inwardly... Another round for each of us! Never mind whether she can handle it, I certainly can't. I pondered: it's natural she wants to drink when she's upset, but drowning her sorrows in alcohol is never the answer. As they say, drinking to dispel grief only deepens it, making the pain harder to bear.

I felt I ought to help Zhao Ke Wen let out her sorrow and grief, not allow her to drink endlessly—this would only burden her body further, and might push her to the brink of collapse.

While I was thinking about how to share Zhao Ke Wen's inner pain, she spoke first.

"What do you think of Li Xu Yang?"

Watching her as she lowered her head, seemingly lost in thought, I considered before replying, "I think Brother Yang is a pretty decent person—sincere and warm-hearted, someone worth befriending."

"Is that just because he helped you?" Zhao Ke Wen looked up at me, her gaze strangely unfamiliar.

"Perhaps that's part of it," I nodded, admitting her point. She wasn't wrong; I was certainly grateful to Li Xu Yang, mainly because he lent me money without hesitation. Maybe this gratitude colored my judgment of him. But in truth, I'd only spent a few days with Li Xu Yang; aside from the usual greetings, there was little to reveal his character.

Zhao Ke Wen seemed satisfied with my honesty, smiling and nodding. The unfamiliar look in her eyes had vanished.

"In my heart, he's just a coward, nothing more," she said, her smile fading as she sighed. "If you want to dig deeper, he's simply a coward who wants to take care of me."

I wasn't sure what she meant by "coward"; perhaps it referred to some chapter in their past. I listened in silence, waiting for her to continue.

"Actually, I've always just used him, but he foolishly continues to like me," Zhao Ke Wen's voice trembled. "I've never liked him, not once. I've only used him, played with his feelings to satisfy my own material or emotional needs."

As she spoke, Zhao Ke Wen choked up. Hearing this revelation, I fell silent. I couldn't imagine that the woman sitting opposite me, crying—who had once cared for me so much—was someone who toyed with others' affections!

"Yang Chen, you think I'm a bad woman, don't you?" Zhao Ke Wen wiped her tears, forcing a smile as she asked.

I shook my head. "Sis, don't say that... I've never thought that."

"Jiang Nan is gone. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks anymore..." Zhao Ke Wen lowered her head again, sobbing softly.

Jiang Nan must have been the boyfriend Zhao Ke Wen had just broken up with. I repeated his name silently, hoping that one day I might meet this man and ask him why he could bear to hurt someone who loved him so deeply.

"Yang Chen... you..."

"It's better if you call me 'little brother.' I'm not used to hearing my name," I interrupted her.

Zhao Ke Wen stared at me in surprise, tears welling in her eyes. I reached out, wanting to wipe away her lingering tears, but as my hand hovered in midair, I realized it would be unhygienic—my fingers were probably still sticky with barbecue grease and beer.

Seeing my hand hesitate, Zhao Ke Wen suddenly grabbed my arm, pulled it close, and wiped her tears against it.

"Little brother, why are you so good to me?" she released my arm, her voice hoarse.

"Because you were once good to me."

Zhao Ke Wen nodded and fell silent. Just then, the waiter returned with two more bags of beer. I took two bottles and opened them.

I handed her one, then tipped back a large gulp myself, but I still couldn't come to terms with Zhao Ke Wen's confession about toying with Li Xu Yang's feelings. I couldn't understand why love must always leave someone hurt. Whether it was my past self, Li Xu Yang, or Zhao Ke Wen now, we all lost in the game of love we believed was right, and were wounded.

"Tomorrow, when you go to work, tell him what I've just told you—let him give up," Zhao Ke Wen said, taking a long drink, her words slurring.

"I've already quit that job," I replied apologetically, "Due to some personal reasons, I can't go back there anymore. I'm sorry to have let you down."

"Oh, in that case, forget it," Zhao Ke Wen seemed unconcerned.

"I'm sorry..."

"Why apologize?" she cut me off.

"Because..."

"It's just as well you aren't working there. Saves him the chance to bother me through you," she interrupted again.

Hearing such cold, near-heartless words, I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Somewhere along the way, my heart had grown heavy with Zhao Ke Wen's sadness, and I no longer felt up to comforting her.

"I'm tired of playing, and I've had enough. I've hurt too many people, and I've been hurt too deeply myself. But there's no turning back, is there?" Zhao Ke Wen smiled wryly at me, as if waiting for my answer.

"There's no turning back," I replied. Everything that had passed was like smoke, and all that remained were fleeting shadows.

"Before I make an irreparable mistake, I need to cut off all contact with Li Xu Yang. I can't let him go on making mistakes. He's fallen for someone who doesn't deserve or merit his love." With that, Zhao Ke Wen kept drinking, bottle after bottle.

I noticed something was off about her—her eyes flashed with a certain resolve that made me uneasy. I quickly tried to stop her: "Sis, let's call it a night. We'll go home. If you want to drink again, I'll keep you company."

Zhao Ke Wen put down the bottle, suddenly smiled and nodded, then shook her head, and finally said softly, "Little brother, thank you for coming out to drink with me tonight."

Watching Zhao Ke Wen's strange expression and hearing the tone of her voice, a sense of foreboding wrapped around my heart.