Chapter Fifty-Four: Words Held in the Heart

I had no idea what I was thinking—it turned out I spent the entire night sitting on the rooftop! All alone, chain-smoking, drinking beer, gazing at the stars, waiting in dull silence until the sky began to lighten at the horizon.

I gently patted Luo Qing’s back and called her to wake: “Get up and watch the sunrise!”

Luo Qing lay on her side across my legs, slowly opening her eyes and rubbing them, mumbling nonsense: “Yang Chen, where is this?”

Looking at Luo Qing as she sat up, I felt a wave of helplessness—had sleep made her so dazed?

“The sun’s about to come up,” I pointed to the horizon, smiling as I spoke to her.

Luo Qing tossed aside the blanket and stood, stretching lazily. She seemed awake now, watching the edge of the sky with eager anticipation.

I slapped my own stiff face, trying to stay alert. After several cans of beer and staying awake all night fearing something might happen to this girl, the dawn was finally here, but exhaustion swept over me like a tidal wave.

“So many cigarette butts!” Luo Qing glanced down at the scattered mess by my side and frowned. “You’re not allowed to smoke at all today! If you dare light another one, face the consequences yourself!”

“Okay, help me up first,” I tried moving and felt an ache everywhere, my body drained of strength.

Luo Qing looked at my outstretched hand, hesitated for a moment, then grasped it with both hands and pulled me to my feet.

“Did you really sit here all night?” Luo Qing brushed the dust off my clothes, asking in a casual tone.

“Pretty much. You were sleeping so soundly, I didn’t want to disturb you… You didn’t catch a chill, did you?” I stood and stretched, feeling the early symptoms of a cold—lightheaded and weak all over.

Upon hearing me, Luo Qing stopped brushing the dust, lowered her head, and said nothing for a long time.

“What’s wrong?” I noticed her mood was off.

“Yang Chen, are you insane? Is your head full of water? It’s freezing at night and you’re wearing so little—are you stupid?” Luo Qing suddenly looked up and shouted at me, her eyes reddening.

Though her words were harsh, I felt a genuine warmth—her concern made me think even falling sick would be worth it.

Seeing Luo Qing begin to sob, I hurried over and gently hugged her, soothing, “Don’t cry, don’t cry. I was wrong, okay? No more tears, or next time I won’t take you out!”

I don’t know when the distance between us began to shrink—holding hands or hugging became natural, like actions that required no reason or hesitation.

This time, Luo Qing didn’t listen. She let me hold her, crying even harder.

Her sobs touched something fragile deep inside me, stirring an ache and bitterness. I didn’t know if my feelings for Luo Qing were still just those of a friend; I only knew I never wanted to see her upset, never wanted to see her cry.

Unable to help myself, I gently bent down and kissed her forehead. She looked up in a fluster, beautiful eyes shimmering with tears, staring at me in confusion.

“It’s all right, it’s really nothing. See, I’m fine, aren’t I?” Embarrassed by her gaze, I quickly released her and pointed to the distance. “Look, the sun’s about to rise!”

I successfully distracted Luo Qing. She followed my voice, staring toward where the sun would soon ascend, lost in thought.

In the misty air, rays of color began to illuminate the world, breaking through the long night, bringing warmth and light to all who awaited it.

“It’s so beautiful!” Luo Qing watched the slow ascent of the sun, wiping her tears and finally smiling.

“Yes…” I didn’t watch the sunrise, but turned to gaze at Luo Qing’s joyful face. She was so lovely in that moment, like a fairy untouched by the world, the soft light illuminating her pale cheeks, her radiant eyes reflecting a kaleidoscope of colors.

Luo Qing stared at the sun as it revealed itself fully, a blush rising on her pretty face. She turned to me with a dazzling smile, “Pervert!”

“Well… not quite…” I scratched my head, embarrassed.

Seeing my awkwardness seemed to please Luo Qing. She spread her arms and spun in place, lifting her face to the ever-brightening sky, laughing with delight.

I quickly moved to stand between her and the railing, fearing she might get dizzy and accidentally fall.

After spinning, Luo Qing stopped and walked over to me, smiling and staring at me up close.

“What is it?” Her gaze made me nervous; I instinctively tried to step back, only to find myself pressed against the railing.

Suddenly, Luo Qing pressed her hands on my shoulders, pinning me to the fence, her beautiful face tinged with blush. She kissed me on the lips!

I stared wide-eyed at the deep blue sky, a dizzying happiness flooding my mind… Even if I had nothing, even if death was just meters below, I felt nothing but joy and contentment.

I savored her sweetness and softness, basking in the quiet and peace of the world. We froze in this strange embrace, bathed in the dawn’s glow…

With eyes closed, it felt like ages had passed; opening them, it seemed only a moment. Luo Qing had left me and stood with her back turned, kicking small stones on the cement. I continued to stare at the sky, feelings surging inside me, as if everything I felt was about to spill out.

Luo Qing turned, came before me, and smiled, “Still savoring it?”

The faint fragrance mixed with tobacco lingered in my mouth, and in that instant, I finally understood my heart—I liked her. I liked Luo Qing!

Leaning against the railing, I stood and looked at her breathtaking beauty, unable to restrain my feelings any longer as they broke free: “Luo Qing, I lo—”

Luo Qing suddenly put her hand over my mouth, raised a finger to her lips, and softly said, “Yang Chen, don’t overthink it, don’t say more. It’s good as it is! We’ll always be best friends, but I’m not the one you’re looking for…”

I stared dumbfounded at her evasive gaze, listening to what was essentially a gentle rejection, and it felt as though my world collapsed, the castle I’d just built shattered in an instant.

Yet aside from disappointment, I felt no other negative emotions. After all, it was only my wishful thinking. Even if we lived in the same fairy tale, she was the princess, and I was nothing but a native frog.

After a moment, calm returned. I nodded lightly, and Luo Qing released her hand from my mouth, lowering her head to pick up the cigarette butts I’d tossed, putting them into a bag.

“So, where are we going to play today?” Luo Qing asked, holding the bag of trash.

“Today… let’s go to the amusement park?” I took the bag from her, hesitating.

“Yay! I’ve never been to an amusement park!” Luo Qing clapped her hands excitedly, pulling me toward the stairs, clearly delighted with the plan.

“Wait! There’s something we need to sort out before we go.”

“What is it? Tell me, tell me!”

Seeing her anxious face, I nodded toward her outfit.

“Oh!” Luo Qing seemed to understand and took off the jacket, handing it to me.

“That’s not what I meant—I was talking about changing your clothes before we leave!” I covered my face in exasperation. “Roaming around at night is fine, but you can’t wear an evening dress to the amusement park in broad daylight.”

“It’s fine, I’m not afraid!” Luo Qing said, tugging at me to head downstairs.

“Heroine, you may not be scared, but I am! With that dress, you’ll flash everyone when you jump or run. Imagine the ferris wheel—don’t want the crowd below to get nosebleeds.”

“Why would you care if I flash someone?” Luo Qing looked at me, confused.

“Well…” I stammered, unable to give a good answer. She wasn’t my girlfriend, so why should I care?

“All right, where should we change? Want to go to the mall nearby and buy something?”

“No need to waste money. Let’s go to my place—Sister Ke Wen’s size is about yours, you can borrow something from her.” I reckoned Zhao Ke Wen wouldn’t be up yet, but if I’d promised Luo Qing a day out, changing clothes was a must, and I’d have to trouble Ke Wen for it.

Actually, there was another reason for returning home—I was out of money, and needed to gather whatever was left to make sure I could treat Luo Qing to a proper day.

“No way, I won’t wear her clothes!” Luo Qing pouted, refusing.

“Why not? You two already made peace, didn’t you?”

“No reason, just don’t want to. What, are you going to force me? Are you a pervert?” With that, Luo Qing hurried away from me, casting a look of disdain.

“Fine, fine, you win. We’ll figure something else out, okay?” I surrendered—her reasoning was truly eccentric.

As I was racking my brain for another solution, my phone rang. Checking the screen, I saw it was Zhao Ke Wen calling. What a coincidence.