Chapter Forty-Six: The Scarf

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I took a taxi to the hotel where Goddess Su was staying. After I called her, Su Xuefei quickly put on her coat and came downstairs.

“Where’s Xiao Ya?” I opened the car door, and Su Xuefei slipped inside. But I didn’t see the little girl anywhere near her.

“She said she was tired earlier, so I took her to eat first and then left her resting in the hotel.” Su Xuefei sat beside me and smiled. “Don’t worry. The hotel’s security system is very good.”

I nodded and helped her place her bag in the empty space between us. Then I asked casually, “What would you like to eat?”

“Let’s have hot pot.”

Su Xuefei seemed to have already decided where to go. After saying it, she looked into my eyes as though waiting for my opinion. Naturally, I had no objection.

When we reached the eastern part of the city, we found a restaurant called Prosperity Hot Pot City. Once inside, I discovered that the grand name was merely a name. The place was not exactly small, but it was only a two-story storefront.

Su Xuefei and I ordered a medium pot. Since the weather outside was cold, we chose a spicy broth. I ordered a plate of beef brisket, while Goddess Su chose several little things that looked more like snacks.

“Is she really all right by herself in the hospital? Why don’t you go back and take care of her after we finish eating?” Su Xuefei was still worried about Luo Qing’s health. She had no idea that the little minx herself did not take her health seriously at all. For all I knew, she had already run off somewhere to have fun.

“Don’t worry. I’ve never seen a girl more energetic than her. She probably ran off somewhere to play a long time ago.”

Whenever I thought of that girl, my head began to ache. We were no longer a couple. In theory, we should not even have been able to remain friends. Yet I did not know why—I simply could not bring myself to be ruthless with her. Perhaps it was because my feelings for her had once been too deep.

Su Xuefei nodded, then asked, “Are you still planning to return to Jinlan soon?”

“Of course. If I don’t go back, I’ll truly become an utterly unemployed drifter. Without an income, how am I supposed to eat? I can’t possibly stay here just because the city is beautiful and prosperous.”

If this had been the old me, I might have continued struggling in Yichun. But now I had lost both my dreams and my motivation. Rather than wasting away here, I might as well return to my hometown, where I could start over.

“Then remember to take me with you when you go back,” Su Xuefei said casually.

The moment I heard that, I was stunned. If we were merely friends, it would be understandable for her to visit once in a while. But if she intended to go every time, that was rather difficult to explain.

“What is it?” Su Xuefei noticed my astonished expression and looked at me in confusion.

“Nothing… I just find it a little strange.” I put on a teasing grin and looked at Goddess Su. “What’s the matter? Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for me.”

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Su Xuefei had just taken a sip of tea and nearly spat it out. Her face reddened, and she no longer dared to look at me. She took out a tissue and gently wiped the corner of her mouth. After taking a deep breath and hesitating for a moment, she said, “Yang Chen, please don’t flatter yourself. Although there is a certain agreement between us, that doesn’t mean it can determine our future for very long.”

Her words left me even more confused. “An agreement?”

Seeing that I seemed to have forgotten, Su Xuefei showed neither anger nor displeasure. She simply raised her head and looked at me, asking softly, “You don’t remember?”

“Of course I remember. How could I forget?”

I gave an awkward laugh, inwardly wishing I could slap myself. Why had I spouted such nonsense? Now I had no choice but to stall for time. I genuinely could not remember making any agreement with Goddess Su. Could she mean the promise she had once extracted from me to sing for her? If so, she was making far too much of it. Singing a song was hardly a big deal to me.

Seeing how flustered I was, Su Xuefei covered her mouth and giggled, then continued sipping her tea.

We spent roughly an hour eating hot pot. As we chatted, I discovered that once one became familiar with Goddess Su, she was actually very approachable. The icy aloofness she had shown before had long since vanished. Compared with Sister Shi Yu’s gentle warmth, soft as a spring rain and sinking into the heart drop by drop, Su Xuefei seemed more youthful and sweet, with the charm of the girl next door.

Before I could even pay the bill, Su Xuefei told me she had already settled it. I looked at her in confusion.

“Goddess Su, that wasn’t very fair of you.”

“What?”

“When a man eats with a beautiful woman, paying the bill is supposed to be our duty. You snatched that away from me. Where does that leave my dignity?” I explained with a smile.

“Oh? Is that what they call male chauvinism?”

Su Xuefei tugged lightly at my sleeve, and together we left the hot-pot restaurant.

Out on the street, Su Xuefei wrapped around herself the scarf I had given her and walked beside me. The weather had grown bitterly cold, but perhaps because we had just eaten hot pot, I did not feel chilled.

“Yang Chen… tell me the story behind this scarf.”

She walked beside me while I took out a cigarette and lit it. I drew a deep breath of the cold air, then looked at her expectant face. I could not bring myself to refuse.

“All right. Let me gather my thoughts.”

I smoked as I walked aimlessly forward, while Su Xuefei followed obediently, waiting for my story.

“My mother gave me this scarf. You could say it was a gift.” I did not begin speaking until I had finished the cigarette. “Back in middle school, my family was actually in a very difficult situation. My father had just lost his job, and my mother had no work either. The three of us were living off our savings—money going out, with nothing coming in. On top of that, my father occasionally liked to gamble. Our family had already been living beyond its means, and things grew poorer by the day.”

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“I was immature back then, too. I was like some street thug—good for nothing, spending every day copying other people by smoking and drinking, getting into fights. No matter how strictly my mother disciplined me, I refused to listen. I did whatever I pleased, skipped class, and spent my days in Internet cafés. My mother became a frequent visitor to the principal’s office.”

Thinking of those days, I could not help feeling miserable. It was all because I had been too foolish. Otherwise, perhaps I would have earned a university degree by now, found a more stable job, and put both my life and my family on the right track.

As I spoke about my past, Su Xuefei listened in silence. From time to time, she looked at me with an incredulous expression, apparently unable to imagine that the person I had once been and the person I was now could be so different.

“Later, during another freezing winter, all the other children wore beautiful padded coats and cute scarves. I alone was still wearing an old, tattered cotton coat and a knitted cap. Back then, everyone—the teachers and the students, those older than me and those younger—looked at me strangely. Perhaps because I already had such a terrible reputation, they looked down on me but never said anything outright. That was when I finally learned what discrimination was. More precisely, it was the contempt of the rich for the poor—the disdain that revealed itself in every word, every action, every glance.”

I sighed. In truth, it was not only a thing of the past. Wasn’t it still the same now? The gap between people was the most direct reflection of their strength and status. I had endured too many humiliations, so I naturally understood the importance of equality. That was also the greatest obstacle in my relationship with Luo Qing. Even if we had successfully come together, sooner or later she would have felt that I was merely her weakness, her burden—and eventually cast me aside.

“You’re overthinking it,” Su Xuefei said, shaking her head before motioning for me to continue.

“Later, one day, a local thug took a fancy to a girl in my class and blocked her way outside the school that evening, frightening her so badly that she did not dare go home. She called for a teacher, but no one paid any attention. They all thought it was nothing more than children fooling around.”

I took out another cigarette, but Su Xuefei gently tugged at my sleeve and shook her head.

I smiled, slipped the cigarette back into the pack, and continued. “She came to me afterward and begged me to help her. Normally, I hated the way girls like her acted so superior, but for some reason, I still chose to help. After school, I walked with her. Sure enough, once we left the school grounds, we ran into a group of men who looked like thugs. We barely exchanged a few words before my friends and I got into a fight with them. They were older than us, and there were more of them. Naturally, we were beaten. But the fight was brutal, and nearly all of us were bleeding. Afraid that something serious had happened, they ran away. The girl made it home safely.”

“The next day, my mother was summoned to the principal’s office. The principal’s meaning was obvious: he wanted to expel me. In other words, he was asking whether my mother could pay some money to make the matter go away. After school, I went home in a state of anxiety. Before I even reached the front door, I saw my mother standing by the roadside. I lowered my head, not daring to look at her. But to my surprise, Mother smiled, pulled me into her arms, and gently stroked my disheveled hair.

“She said, ‘A real man can make mistakes, but he must never lose his backbone. At least in this matter, your mother believes you did the right thing. If you back down now, you will no longer be my son.’

“Then Mother took out this scarf and carefully wrapped it around my neck. In that instant, its warmth made me forget all my pain. It also made me understand how much my mother loved me.”

“When I got home, I cried bitterly. After that, I decided to study hard. Although I had started trying rather late, I still managed to get into a good high school—the same school you and I attended together for two years.”

I looked at Su Xuefei, who was listening spellbound, and spoke softly. “It was only later, at a family gathering, that I learned my mother had stayed up late every night to knit this scarf. During the day, she had to hurry from place to place earning money. She never once told me how hard it was. She did it only so that I could go to school looking presentable, with my head held high…”

“So, Goddess Su, you must take good care of it. There is a spirit woven into this scarf, and love as well.”

Su Xuefei lowered her head and gazed silently at the scarf around her neck. She reached out and gently stroked it. Then she raised her head, looked at me, and nodded solemnly.

(Nine-Headed Bird Academy)

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