Chapter Eight

He said he already knew everything, but Song Xingyue wasn’t sure exactly what he knew. Still, since he said so, she took it that he knew it all.

By the time they returned to the Xie residence, it was rather late. Xie Linxu and Song Xingyue went back together to Qinghe Courtyard, but Xie Linxu did not go to his room. When Song Xingyue asked where he was headed, he replied, “There are some official matters I need to handle in the study.”

Song Xingyue didn’t think much of it. “It’s late; finish up soon and come back to rest.”

Xie Linxu acknowledged with a grunt and headed toward the study. Yet halfway there, he changed course and left Qinghe Courtyard.

The attendant beside him, Shou Yuan, was puzzled. “Young master, weren’t you going to the study? Where are you heading now?”

Xie Linxu answered, “To find Mother.”

They walked back toward Qinghe Courtyard, where Second Madam Xie was still present, whispering privately with Jing Xi.

Xie Linxu had planned to wait outside until their conversation ended before entering, but the two inside didn’t mind and quickly invited him in.

Second Madam Xie was about forty, a woman of modest height with a delicate face that, despite her age, showed no sign of decline.

Seeing Xie Linxu, she smiled behind her handkerchief. “We were just talking about you and your affairs. What a coincidence you’re here now.”

Xie Linxu asked, “What were you discussing, Aunt?”

Jing Xi took the lead. “We were talking about matters concerning Lady Song.”

“What about Lady Song?”

“Your second aunt thought since she hasn’t borne children, you might consider taking a concubine. What do you think? I believe it’s a good idea.”

Second Madam Xie echoed, “Yes, Changzhou, a woman’s family background and character might be less important, but if she cannot bear children, that’s a grave fault. Since Lady Song cannot have children, you might as well take more concubines or secondary wives. No one will blame you.”

Xie Linxu’s expression was calm as he replied, “She is still young, and so am I. We’re not in a hurry.”

This was the first time Xie Linxu addressed the matter of children directly. He said, not in a rush.

Second Madam sighed heavily. “How can you not be in a hurry? It’s maddening! In most families, men start having children at eighteen. You’re already twenty-two, and Song is eighteen. Everything can be delayed except having children.”

Before marriage, one must not delay marriage.

Before passing the imperial exams, one must not delay success.

Before securing an official post, one must not delay establishing a career.

Now, with no children, one must not delay having children.

So what could possibly be delayed?

Xie Linxu found it difficult to reason with them and didn’t want to waste breath on futile arguments.

He didn’t hide his purpose and said plainly, “The reason I came tonight is also because of Lady Song.”

Upon hearing this, their faces changed; the previous smiles vanished.

Jing Xi, seeing Xie Linxu’s serious demeanor, guessed he had unpleasant things to say and told Second Madam, “It’s late; sister-in-law, you should head back.”

Second Madam wanted to eavesdrop on what he had to say but Jing Xi ushered her out first.

With Jing Xi’s prompting, she had no choice but to leave.

After she left, Xie Linxu stated his intention clearly: “Since Lady Song is married into the Song household, Mother shouldn’t treat her harshly with such methods. After all, she is a formally wedded wife. Treating her badly only brings shame to the Duke’s household.”

Jing Xi snorted. “Are you worried about the Duke’s reputation or hers? If she used such despicable means to marry in, do you expect me to treat her like a guest?”

Xie Linxu didn’t look at Jing Xi, his gaze fixed on the candlelight before him. “She is at fault, and so am I.”

Jing Xi frowned sharply. When the incident occurred two years ago, after he returned home, he knelt before her and Xie Xiu, saying the same thing: she was at fault, and he was at fault.

Later, when Song Xingyue’s father caused a scandal, Jing Xi wanted to secretly eliminate the family for peace’s sake, but Xie Linxu stopped her.

In the end, against the family’s objections, he insisted that since the couple had consummated the marriage, they should formalize it.

Such a simple statement: if he said marry, then marry. Because of that, the situation worsened, and the engagement with the Li family was ruined.

Yet after marrying, their lives resembled that of resentful spouses, arguably worse than not marrying.

Tonight, hearing those words again, Jing Xi rarely got angry with him. She called his name sharply: “Xie Linxu, you’re too rigid. One night of passion doesn’t mean you must take responsibility for the rest of your life. Besides, she climbed into your bed first—why must you act this way? When you insisted on marrying her, I went along with it. I don’t know how you persuaded your father and uncle, but since marriage, I’ve managed the household affairs. How I treat her is none of your concern!”

In the quiet Rongming Hall, candlelight flickered softly, occasionally mingling with cicadas chirping outside the window. Jing Xi’s voice, interwoven with the insects’ calls, made the atmosphere tense and restless.

“She doesn’t follow the rules and lacks propriety. I’ll teach her. These punishments are boring,” Xie Linxu’s voice was much calmer than the tense atmosphere. “From now on, all Qinghe Courtyard’s supplies will come directly from here, no longer from the official household.”

Song Xingyue had never begged him for money, nor did she have the face to do so. Reflecting on the two years since her marriage, she hadn’t even had proper clothes.

Jing Xi almost sneered from her throat upon hearing this: “You can make a hundred sets of clothes for her if you want; I don’t care. You can certainly afford to support her. But if you mess up, the entire Qinghe Courtyard will be handed over to her to manage. I warn you, what you give her tonight, she’ll use tomorrow to support her birth family.”

Xie Linxu came tonight only to notify them. Jing Xi was already angry and didn’t know what else to say. He said, “I understand my role.”

With that, he stood and left.

Jing Xi watched him go, helpless and clutching her chest in frustration.

After leaving Rongming Hall, Xie Linxu returned to Qinghe Courtyard, where Song Xingyue was in the bathing chamber.

About fifteen minutes later, Song Xingyue emerged.

Having just bathed and washed her hair, she looked as if steamed by the water. Her eyes, still red from crying, had a faint flush at the slightly upturned corners.

She wore only a thin inner garment, the slightly open collar revealing delicate white collarbones. Her slender jade-like hands fiddled with the damp ends of her hair.

She wasn’t the type of beauty with sharp, angular features—her figure was slender and well-proportioned. As the capital’s gossips mocked, she had an unrefined appearance, somewhat vulgar, yet her face was never gaudy, more like a delicate flower reflected in water—both pure and charming.

Seeing Xie Linxu seated by the table, she shifted her gaze and said, “Changzhou, you’re back.”

Xie Linxu glanced at her once, then looked away. Even facing his beautiful wife, he remained cold and distant.

The candlelight inside the room highlighted his sharp nose and jawline.

He said, “I’ll notify Madam Chen later. From now on, your belongings will come from Qinghe Courtyard; no need to ask elsewhere.”

Madam Chen was the stewardess of Qinghe Courtyard.

Since childhood, Xie Linxu received valuable gifts from all directions during festivals. Jing Xi had assigned someone to manage his finances. The money was invested to grow, and coupled with the generous gifts he received upon ranking third in the imperial exams at nineteen—gifts bestowed directly by the emperor—these funds remained largely untouched and were more than enough to support Song Xingyue.

Song Xingyue’s eyes brightened as she moved closer to him, blinking as she asked, “Really?”

She knew Xie Linxu carried the air of a scholar and would not be stingy about money.

When money was involved, it often felt mundane. If he withheld funds, he would appear petty.

She just didn’t understand how a visit to the study could change his mind...

But having supplies come from Qinghe Courtyard was certainly better than from Jing Xi.

Xie Linxu didn’t look at her but heard the joy in her voice and said, “In the future, don’t make a fuss over clothes in front of Grandmother.”

He knew where her new clothes came from; a quick inquiry would reveal they were made by the old lady.

Song Xingyue was slightly startled, realizing why he suddenly showed such kindness today.

He must have thought she had asked Grandmother for new clothes.

He probably thought she was childish to bring such matters to Grandmother.

Song Xingyue said, “Grandmother said she wanted to make them herself. She said the old clothes were too old-fashioned and not suitable for the birthday celebration.”

Compared to her earlier joy, this explanation was flat and emotionless.

Why could Grandmother see these things, but he never could?

She said no more and turned to fetch a silk towel to dry her hair.

A faint fragrance clung to her, made stronger by the bath.

When she left, the scent gradually faded.

Only when the fragrance was nearly gone did Xie Linxu finally come back to himself.

He released the corner of his garment he’d been gripping tightly for who knew how long. The fabric creased deeply where his hand clenched. He reached out to smooth it, but the wrinkles refused to flatten.

He didn’t sit long, then after bathing, went to bed.

Once in bed, he extinguished the lamp.

Song Xingyue had just wrung out her hair and was still awake.

Both knew the other was awake. Song Xingyue, still annoyed by his earlier words, had nothing more to say but thought of the child matter.

Children don’t come from nowhere.

Her fingers quietly reached toward Xie Linxu. She asked, “Changzhou, are you asleep?”

She said, “We haven’t been intimate in a long time. I’ve finished my period recently...”

Xie Linxu was known for his aloofness, his purity likened to a banished immortal. While others praised this, it was the very thing Song Xingyue disliked most. She thought him wooden, like a monk who had renounced the world.

Knowing he was awake, she shed the last thin layer of her garment and pressed herself close to him.

He didn’t respond, so she began unbuttoning his clothes herself until he could no longer bear it and finally grasped her wrist.

Her slender wrist was gently but firmly held.

“Changzhou... I want it.”

More than wanting him, she wanted a child.

Suddenly, Xie Linxu jerked upright, recalling a memory from long ago.

About three years prior, before they had met—perhaps before they even had the chance to meet.

Looking back now, the fifteen-year-old Song Xingyue seemed hardly different from the eighteen-year-old Song Xingyue, yet somehow vastly changed.

The difference lay in the way she said, “I want it,” drawn out sweetly and teasingly.

That day, during a polo match, he accidentally overheard a private meeting between two people.

After playing polo and sweating, he headed to the quiet chamber to change. Feeling restless and hot, he took a shortcut and happened to overhear something he shouldn’t have.

It was two young people, a man and a woman. He recognized the man as Ji Jianyun, son of General Ji. Their fathers were officials in the court, and the General Ji was a well-known figure. The capital was small, and Xie Linxu was somewhat acquainted with him, though only casually.

As for the woman… Xie Linxu had rarely seen her before and didn’t know which family she belonged to. Later he learned she was Song Xingyue.

He wasn’t close to either but could tell their relationship was intimate—intimate beyond propriety.

Song Xingyue held Ji Jianyun’s arm, impatiently wiping sweat from his brow. “A Yun, you’re so good at polo, better than anyone else.”

Ji Jianyun, tall and bending slightly to let her wipe his sweat, smiled, unconvinced. “I didn’t do well just now. I almost got caught by the Xie heir.”

Song Xingyue said, “But you didn’t get caught. He’s good, but you’re better.”

Ji Jianyun smiled, flashing white teeth. “Not flattering me? Honestly?”

Song Xingyue nodded seriously. “A Yun is much better than the Xie heir, better than anyone.”

They wouldn’t know Xie Linxu was nearby, overhearing every word, hearing her praise him while mocking Xie Linxu.

Ji Jianyun grabbed her wrist. “Enough, I’m clean; no more wiping.”

He added, “I saw you drinking several sips today. You just had your period; don’t drink cold things. Too much ice will make you uncomfortable.”

“Got it, got it. I only had a few sips; it’s fine.” Song Xingyue continued, “A Yun, I saw a rare book recently. Can you help me find it?”

Seeing her request, Ji Jianyun’s chin lifted slightly as he picked up his helmet. “Will you still act like this in the future?”

Song Xingyue held up three fingers in promise. “I absolutely won’t do it again!”

Ji Jianyun wasn’t convinced. “You don’t speak honestly. I’ll have to think about it…”

Before he finished, Song Xingyue tugged his sleeve, swaying. “A Yun, I want it! I want it! Help me, please.”

Before she could coquettishly plead further, Ji Jianyun gave in. “Alright, alright, stop it. Cut the act…”

Their voices faded as Xie Linxu stopped listening.

At that time, Xie Linxu had recently passed the imperial exams and hadn’t yet retired. He was still young, proud, and hot-headed. He thought Ji Jianyun, coming from a military family, was not very bright, losing his head to such a woman was shameful.

Yet for some reason, that night he had a dream.

In the dream, the woman clinging to Ji Jianyun was beneath him, whispering in a soft, alluring voice, “I want it.”

He clearly disliked such a woman.

So why did he dream of her?

Some things make no sense. To seek the original truth is like chasing a fairy tale.

Later, Xie Linxu found a reason: in the capital, he had never seen such a woman—one so unruly, mixing openly with an outsider. Why could her voice be so coaxing, so distinct?

Those who uphold the rules despise those who break them most.

In the courtyard, white camellias bloomed in spring and fell in autumn. That deep spring, they blossomed lushly, their faint scent accompanied by the lonely moonlight. In the hazy night, many things quietly sprouted and then decayed.

“Changzhou, what are you thinking about?”

Xie Linxu suddenly returned from his memories.

What was once a dream was no longer a dream.

His hand still gripped Song Xingyue’s wrist, but the pressure grew until she winced and called out to him.

Xie Linxu finally responded, releasing her hand and beginning to undress himself.

Their lovemaking was dull and methodical. Song Xingyue was unruly, calling out softly, stirring a bit of passion that made the ordeal less unbearable.

Her hand on his arm gradually relaxed.

Just as she stirred with desire, Xie Linxu suddenly spoke: “Ji Jianyun is coming back. Do you know that?”

Hearing the name “Ji Jianyun” from his mouth, Song Xingyue’s whole body tensed tightly.