Chapter 15

Finally, Xie Linxu said, “If you keep messing around like this again...” His voice was heavy, carrying a warning tone.

Song Xingyue sensed the admonition, much like when she was a child and refused to eat, causing her mother to put on a stern face.

“Xiaoyue, try messing around one more time and see what happens.”

In truth, her mother had been a gentle woman, at least in Song Xingyue’s current recollections, she remembered her as very meek. Yet when it came to raising children and managing household affairs, her mother’s irritability was often hard to bear, resulting in many scoldings during Song Xingyue’s childhood.

Her mother often warned her with words like those. Now hearing them from Xie Linxu’s mouth sounded even more intimidating than when her mother said them.

Song Xingyue loosened her grip and threw the quilt at him in a burst of anger. Her hair became a tangled mess as well, and she turned her back without saying a word, curling up into a ball.

Xie Linxu, in the end, still ignored her, leaving her alone in silence.

Facing the wall, without the quilt and the last shred of security, Song Xingyue wrapped her arms tightly around herself.

The night, mingled with bitterness and grievance, felt unbearably heavy. Her hand, still aching from the burn she had sustained the previous morning at Rongming Hall, throbbed occasionally. She hardly knew how she had finally fallen asleep.

But she did fall asleep.

And in her dreams, she saw Ji Jianyun.

In the dream, Xie Linxu abandoned her again, leaving her nowhere to go, no home to return to. Ji Jianyun’s eyes were bloodshot with fury as he grabbed her by the neck, accusing her of deceit and questioning why she hadn’t waited for him.

Song Xingyue shook her head. She wanted to say it wasn’t that she wouldn’t wait for him, but...

She truly could not wait any longer.

Over the past two years, she had often wondered—if he had never left, and that incident had never happened, if she had quietly waited for his return, would everything have been different?

But there was no “if.”

Ji Jianyun hated her, Xie Linxu despised her; at this point, all she could do was cling to life by sheer force.

When she woke again, dawn had already broken. Xie Linxu had gotten up, and the quilt that had been pushed away last night was somehow draped back over her.

She did not think much of it—it must have been that she had tossed and turned in her sleep, pulling the quilt back, and Xie Linxu, fast asleep, hadn’t noticed.

She rose and initially planned to greet Jingxi, but recalled her sister’s words from the day before, asking her not to bother her for a few days.

With nowhere else to go, she sat at the edge of the bed in quiet thought.

Only a few days remained before leaving the imperial examination, so the trip to Baoen Temple was not urgent.

She had not returned to the Song family in a long time...

She felt no face at the Xie household, and the situation at the Song family was even worse. The people of the Duke’s mansion would not think any better of her because of her, nor would they regard the Song family favorably on her account.

Especially after the scandal at the banquet involving her and Xie Linxu, her father’s relations with the Xie family had soured badly, strained beyond repair. Though he desired to climb the social ladder, he was helpless.

Becoming in-laws with the Duke’s household brought no advantage to him; in fact, it made his own path even more precarious.

The Song family held no favor for Song Xingyue, and after the humiliating incident, Xie Linxu and his family would not wish for her to have further contact with the Song family.

In the past two years, her visits to the Song household had been few and far between.

It wasn’t that she couldn’t go out, but if people knew she had returned to the Song home, it would cause discomfort.

Yet her younger sister was still there.

She didn’t know if their stepmother had mistreated her in recent times.

She ought to make time to visit her.

Song Xingyue stood and approached the windowsill. She took the watering can from Danping and watered the blooming red moon roses resting there, then said to her, “Get ready. Let’s go back to the Song family for a visit, to see A Miao.”

Song Xingmiao was her younger sister by two years, now sixteen.

They shared the same mother, who had fallen ill and passed away when Song Xingyue was about seven, shortly after Song Xingmiao was born. Within a year, their father had elevated his concubine to wife.

That stepmother was ill-tempered and had been harsh to both sisters since childhood. Their father was blind to everything but his favored son, paying little attention to the girls. Without the protection of Grandmother Song, it was uncertain whether the sisters could have grown up well amid such trials.

Regrettably, the kind-hearted grandmother died before reaching sixty.

Song Xingyue didn’t delay her plans to return to the Song family. She tidied her appearance and then retrieved some secret savings from the bottom of the wardrobe.

Though she held no authority in the Xie household, she received a monthly allowance, albeit small and only for personal expenses, not household use.

She rarely needed money; clothes and meals came from the Xie family, and she didn’t spend on cosmetics, which the household provided regularly. Though the items she received were limited and of poor quality, they were something.

She saved the money she did not spend and used it occasionally to bring back for Xingmiao when she visited.

Danping bent over, resting on her knees, and spoke, “Miss, you should keep some money for yourself.”

Song Xingyue took out most of it and said, “Don’t worry, I keep some for myself.”

She was well provided for at the Xie household and didn’t need money, but Xingmiao’s situation was different.

She knew all too well what life had been like at the Song home.

Xingmiao needed money far more.

Song Xingyue gathered the money and two new, unworn dresses to take along.

Not long ago, Xie Linxu had suddenly ordered six new dresses to be made for her. Since Xingmiao’s figure was similar to hers, two were tailored specifically to suit her tastes and had been kept in the wardrobe, waiting for the right moment to be delivered.

With everything packed, after breakfast, they left.

She didn’t take the Xie family carriage, fearing gossip if anyone from the Xie household learned she had gone back to the Song family. Besides, the Xie carriage parked at the Song home would be too conspicuous. It was more convenient to hire a carriage from the nearby stable.

Upon arriving at the Song residence, she entered through the side gate. The gatekeeper, seeing her return, hurried to send word.

Her father was likely still on duty and not at home. The gatekeeper intended to inform her stepmother, but Song Xingyue stopped him.

“I’m here only to see Xingmiao. There’s no need to trouble your mistress.”

The gatekeeper dared not argue further and allowed her inside.

The Song family home was modest—a courtyard with two exits. Song Xingyue headed to the east wing where Xingmiao lived.

When Grandmother Song was alive, the two sisters had been cared for under her watch. After her passing, they moved from the main hall to the cramped east wing.

Before marriage, Song Xingyue had lived there with Xingmiao; after marrying, Xingmiao lived alone.

A sweet osmanthus tree stood in the courtyard. Though Mid-Autumn had passed, the osmanthus blossoms were still in full bloom, filling the air with their fragrance.

The house was small, and Song Xingyue quickly reached the east wing.

It was still morning; the weather was fine, the sky clear and vast. The sunlight was gentle, casting a golden shimmer over the garden steps and plants.

In the small courtyard stood a woman with a cold, stern face, tending flowers and trimming grass.

Since dawn, her heart had been racing. Perhaps sisters shared a connection—Xingmiao sensed that today, her sister would return.

Distractedly watering and trimming, she suddenly heard movement at the gate. Xingmiao looked up, and sure enough, Song Xingyue entered the courtyard.

Song Xingyue had not expected to find Xingmiao standing there.

She stepped forward with a smile. “A Miao, up so early? Watering the flowers?”

Wasn’t it obvious?

What was there to ask?

Xingmiao thought her sister was just trying to make conversation.

She glanced at her once, then looked away, pursing her lips. “It’s not early anymore.”

Xingmiao’s temperament was cold, quite unlike Song Xingyue’s.

However, Song Xingyue could endure Xie Linxu; surely she could handle a sister raised alongside her.

Before marrying Xie Linxu, Xingmiao had not been like this; after her marriage, she had become even more withdrawn.

Seeing her coldness, Song Xingyue still smiled cheerfully. She took Xingmiao’s hand, urging her to set down the watering can. “Enough work for now. Come inside and talk with your sister.”

Xingmiao allowed herself to be pulled, setting the can down and following her inside.

Once inside, Song Xingyue noticed the dimness; the windows were closed, blocking the light. She went to open them.

“Why do you still keep the windows shut like before? It’s so dark and gloomy—so unpleasant.”

Xingmiao looked at her back and finally spoke after a long silence, “Why have you come back today?”

Song Xingyue paused briefly but quickly resumed her usual composure. She sat on a chair facing Xingmiao and teased, “Is it not enough that your sister came to see you?”

Xingmiao replied, “There’s nothing to see. Everything is fine; you needn’t worry.”

Song Xingyue’s smile faded somewhat at this. She said nothing, only reached out to touch her face.

“You’ve lost weight, and you say everything’s fine.”

Xingmiao turned her head, avoiding her hand. “No, it’s not true.”

Song Xingyue’s expression hardened. Frowning, she said, “A Miao, why are you like this? I came all this way, and you’re throwing a tantrum.”

Xingmiao snapped, “I didn’t ask you to come.”

Song Xingyue took a deep breath, choosing not to argue. She withdrew a money pouch from her sleeve and pressed it into Xingmiao’s hand.

“This is your allowance. Don’t stay up all night copying books anymore. If you need more money, write to me at the Xie household, and I’ll send it to you. Understand?”

All the family’s money lay with the stepmother, who probably didn’t even allocate a monthly allowance to them. Both sisters had neat handwriting and used to copy books to sell to bookstores for pocket money before Song Xingyue married.

Xingmiao was strong-willed. No matter how much she suffered, she never let others see it.

Seeing her so thin, Song Xingyue’s heart ached, blaming herself for not returning sooner.

Xingmiao returned the pouch. “I don’t want your money. Take it back.”

Song Xingyue insisted, “I am your sister. It’s only right that I give you money. You’re not allowed to refuse.”

Though the pouch contained little money, it felt heavy in Xingmiao’s hand.

She lowered her eyes, avoiding Song Xingyue. “The Xie family treats you badly. I don’t want your money.”

Song Xingyue said, “Don’t overthink it. I’m fine.”

After insisting, she made Xingmiao accept the money and then brought over the two new dresses from Danping.

“Here are two new dresses your sister made for you.”

Xingmiao raised her eyes to look at her. “Where did these clothes come from? Did Xie Linxu have them made for you? Did you flatter him?”

From the moment Song Xingyue entered, Xingmiao had noticed her attire was different from usual.

Xie Linxu only ever treated her coldly; she was well aware of how she had endured these past two years.

Had he finally decided to treat her well?

Song Xingyue said nothing of those matters, only replied, “He is your brother-in-law. Don’t keep calling him by name.”

Xingmiao looked at the dresses and seemed about to speak, but Song Xingyue quickly changed the subject.

“Let’s not talk about that. You haven’t worn new clothes in a long time; don’t grow distant from your sister. Besides, these dresses are plain—I made them especially for you, and I can’t wear them.”

Xingmiao’s tone was cool. “Can’t wear them? You’ve been wearing those ill-fitting clothes for two years.”

Song Xingyue understood the meaning behind those words but didn’t take the bait. She casually changed the topic.

She had come back to the Song family at last and talked with Xingmiao for quite a while, mostly her speaking and Xingmiao listening.

Xingmiao grew somewhat impatient and urged her several times.

“It’s getting late. You should go back early. I won’t keep lunch for you.”

Song Xingyue smiled wryly. “Do you think I’m here just for your meals? Xingmiao, why are you always chasing me away? I came back after such a long time; can’t I say a few more words? Why do you grow more stubborn as you get older?”

She came to see her once, yet her sister always tried to send her off.

Xingmiao said, “If you don’t like me, then leave sooner. I didn’t ask you to come see me. I can live without you.”

Hearing this, Song Xingyue’s anger flared. She said in a low voice, “Try saying that again.”

Both wore stern faces; the tension in the room thickened.

At that moment, the courtyard outside echoed with a chattering noise.

Song Xingyue turned to look and saw her stepmother and father approaching.

Shouldn’t her father be at the government office?

Song Cheng wore his official robes. Now forty years old and round-bellied, the tight robes strained against his protruding stomach. Song Xingyue remembered her father as leaner when she was young, but age had softened and rounded him.

He and Madam Xu, her stepmother, hurried in like restless spirits.

Upon entering, Song Cheng smiled ingratiatingly at Song Xingyue.

“Ah, Yue, you’re back? Why didn’t you say something earlier? Father would have come to greet you sooner.”

Song Xingyue’s expression darkened, no longer able to maintain her composure.

Frowning, she asked, “Father, shouldn’t you be at the office now?”

He was Deputy Director of the Imperial Stud, a sixth-rank official in charge of horse affairs.

Seeing her sour expression, he forced a chuckle. “I didn’t know you were back. I came to see you.”

Leaning on Song Cheng, Madam Xu smiled as well.

“Is that so? You haven’t been back in a while. I heard from the servants you returned but no one told me. I should have come early to welcome you. How could I be so neglectful?”

Song Xingyue, seeing their act, guessed their intentions.

They had never been so affable before. Now they feigned familial affection and happiness.

Their performance made her sick.

She forced a polite smile. “I’m touched Father still remembers me.”

She spoke without sparing a glance at Madam Xu.

Song Cheng said, “Since you’ve come, it’s nearly lunchtime. I’ve had the servants prepare some dishes. Stay and eat.”

Song Xingyue declined, “No, I’m leaving.”

Song Cheng and Madam Xu exchanged a glance, their smiles stiffening.

“Leaving so soon? Stay a while longer.”

Song Xingyue was tired of talking. “If Father has nothing more to say, I will take my leave.”

With that, she turned to go.

Song Cheng grew anxious and grabbed her arm.

“Don’t be in such a hurry. Father has something to discuss with you.”

He continued, “Your brother is now eighteen, but he’s been wasting his time with bad company, neglecting his studies, failing the imperial exams. No one wants to marry him. The Duke is Minister of Personnel now—you might speak to your in-laws and ask them to help your brother.”

When her mother had conceived, Song Cheng spent most of his time in Madam Xu’s chambers, where a younger half-brother was also born, a few months younger than Song Xingyue.

Her mother was not a local of the capital but the daughter of a prefect from elsewhere. Song Cheng had met and wed her while on assignment outside the city. When he was promoted and transferred to the capital, her mother followed him.

Without her maternal family nearby, she had suffered from her father’s neglect.

Her younger brother had been spoiled by Song Cheng from a young age. He was even more robust than their father, broad-boned and well-built.

As Song Cheng said, he was uneducated and careless, spending his days with disreputable friends.

Song Xingyue sneered, “Who do you mean by in-laws? Have you forgotten how things went with the Xie family? They probably aren’t close to you.”

Hearing this, Song Cheng’s face darkened.

“Why speak so harshly? I fought for you back then! The Xie family’s status is no higher than a word from the Duke. Just ask you to say a good word for your brother, and you refuse!”

Song Xingyue snapped back coldly, “I’m living a miserable life at the Xie household myself. You want me to plead for him? Why don’t you just tell me to die! I’m telling you, I have no influence. If you have the ability, go yourself!”

Song Cheng was startled by her sudden outburst. Recovering, he glared, raising his hand as if to strike her.

“You’ve turned against me!”

Xingmiao, who had been silent, immediately stepped forward to shield her sister.

Song Xingyue, knowing Song Cheng was all bluster, was unafraid.

She pulled Xingmiao behind her and glared at Song Cheng.

“Go ahead, try hitting me today!”