Chapter 36: The 330-Pounder Who Took Flight on the Spot!

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"Now, let's talk about the sordid tale of Li Longji and his daughter-in-law, Yang Yuhuan."

"It’s nothing more than an old man with too much time on his hands, seeing that his son’s wife was as beautiful as a flower, finding an opportunity to bring her into the palace, using his status to forcibly possess her, and then crowning her Consort to settle the matter!"

"And this 'Domineering Father-in-law Falls in Love with Me' script was even spun by his lackeys into a legendary romance for the ages."

"As for his poor son, Li Mao, he was turned into 'Li the Hat' by his own father—and a bright green one at that!"

"The two of them were doing just fine; they had already made a pact to be each other's only one for a lifetime. If nothing had happened, they would have welcomed their first child in a few years and spent the rest of their lives growing old together."

"But then, an 'accident' occurred... His father saw that his daughter-in-law was so beautiful, felt a sudden surge of lust, and launched a series of shameless maneuvers."

"To make things look less unsightly, the old codger first used the pretext of praying for the Empress Dowager to have Yang Yuhuan become a Taoist nun, giving her the Taoist name 'Taizhen' to deliberately tear the young couple apart!"

"Then, he turned around and found his son a new wife as a primary consort. Once everything was arranged, this old lecher began his plan..."

"He spent his days idly wandering over to the Taoist temple... badmouthing his own son at every turn!"

People from the era before the Kaiyuan period were left utterly stunned by Li Longji’s shameless tactics!

"Bah! How utterly shameless! If you want to take her by force, just do it, but don't pull all this nonsense. I despise such a person." Zhang Fei, with his raspy voice, looked at the sky with utter contempt.

Nearby, Guan Yu was so moved by this divine maneuver of Li Longji’s that he began to harbor murderous intent.

Liu Bei gave a cold snort: "To be so wise in one's early years, only to commit such absurd acts in one's later years—it truly fails the name of a golden age. This Li Longji is truly a case of a tiger's head with a snake's tail."

Ying Zheng was shocked to the core... Are rulers of future generations really this good at playing games?

Emperor Wu of Han, Liu Che, felt his mouth twitch uncontrollably... It was just too much!

Cao Cao, at this moment, admired Li Longji to the point of prostration; he wished he could take him on as a master.

"This old boy really knows how to stir things up!" he said, turning to look at Cao Pi.

This frightened Cao Pi immensely: "It seems I need to hide my wife well."

If there was anyone most furious, it had to be Li Er. He never imagined there could be such a thick-skinned and shameless person in the world.

"At least wait until the person is dead! You mean to tell me you just snatched her while he was still alive?"

Li Er was completely disheveled, his face filled with disbelief.

"Damn it! You brat, just you wait... I'll come down there and give you a piece of my mind!"

"Forcibly taking a daughter-in-law... I’m ashamed just thinking about it."

Zhu Di watched the sky in silence; after all, the "dirty Han and chaotic Tang" were infamous in the history books.

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Back in the day, when reading history, he loved this part, especially the story of Li Zhi and Wu Zetian. While his own father was critically ill, he flirted with his own stepmother without being discovered by Li Er. It was truly thrilling to read.

It had a feeling of, "We are secretly in love, and then we stun everyone."

Looking at others, he coughed!

Truly, each generation is stronger than the last, and each plays more elaborate games!

Li Er taking his brother's wife—taking her after he died wasn't a major issue.

Li Zhi’s case was an affair, a secret cuckolding, which could be justified. But Li Longji? Damn, he did it while the man was alive, forcing the green hat on him—it truly made Zhu Di laugh.

During the Kaiyuan era of the Great Tang.

Li Longji, holding Yang Yuhuan, watched the judgment of himself on the sky. His face turned from blue to white, his eyes filled with anger and unwillingness.

"These are all slanders from later generations! In my early years, I created the Kaiyuan Golden Age; my merits are unparalleled. Furthermore, Yuhuan and I are in true love; what she had with my son was merely an accident!"

The young eunuch serving nearby was numb upon hearing this.

Good heavens, the father-in-law and the daughter-in-law are in "true love," and the son and the daughter-in-law are an "accident"?

How could he even say that out loud?

At this moment, the sky continued!

"Speaking of Li Longji and Yang Yuhuan, one must mention An Lushan. Moreover, it is highly probable that Yang Yuhuan gave Li Longji a hat—a green one, just like the one his son wore."

"What? What did you say?"

Li Longji was completely bewildered. He had been cuckolded?

He then looked at the beautiful Yang Yuhuan beside him with an expression of total disbelief.

"You... you gave me a green hat?"

"And to that pig? Over three hundred pounds? How could you even bring yourself to do it?"

For a moment, he couldn't believe it.

Yang Yuhuan’s delicate body trembled involuntarily. "Your Majesty... this is only a possibility; it’s just the speculation of later generations. How could I possibly do that with Lu'er?"

Li Longji took a deep breath, struggling to calm the fury in his heart.

His eyes were fixed firmly on the sky!

"An Lushan was originally a captured Sogdian who was about to be executed after being brought back to the Tang Dynasty. This kid was a talent; he actually used money to buy himself a way to survive."

"Even the wise minister Zhang Jiuling advised Li Longji to execute him, but Li Longji wouldn't hear of it, instead finding this little fatty quite cute!"

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Great Tang.

Li Er couldn't hold it in anymore upon hearing this; he threw the memorial in his hand to the ground.

"Cute? You damn well are a little cutie!"

"A big fat guy weighing over three hundred pounds—cute? Your mother's!"

Li Er was so angry he started spouting profanities... his temples were throbbing.

"Moreover, this kid not only had high emotional intelligence but could also dance. With a weight of over three hundred pounds, when he danced the Sogdian Whirl, he was incredibly agile. It was like a ball of meat had become a spirit, spinning on the ground until he practically took flight; he just couldn't stop."

The generals under the sky couldn't remain calm seeing this.

Xu Chu’s mouth twitched involuntarily. "This damn thing weighs over three hundred pounds, even fatter than me, and he can dance this energetically?"

One had to admit, in some respects, this kid really was a genius.

A truly nimble little fatty.

"With this talent, An Lushan thrived and soon gained the favor of both Li Longji and Yang Yuhuan."

"To gain the trust of Emperor Xuanzong of Tang, and also wanting to climb the tree of Consort Yang to consolidate his status, he took the initiative to propose becoming the foster son of Consort Yang."

"And just like that, the forty-eight-year-old An Lushan became the son of the thirty-two-year-old Yang Yuhuan."

"He knew deep down that Consort Yang held a very high position in the heart of Emperor Xuanzong of Tang, and that recognizing her as his foster mother would allow him to gain more favor and resources!"

"As the saying goes, 'whoever has milk is mother.' He called her 'Mother Consort' with every breath, and it sounded so natural; it was as if he was just waiting for Yang Yuhuan to breastfeed him!"

"Because An Lushan danced the Sogdian Whirl so well, Consort Yang felt this fat son was quite cute for a while. We don't know what her aesthetic was—how a three-hundred-pound fatty could be cute—but in any case, he brought Yang Yuhuan joy."

"On the other hand, she had no children of her own. Recognizing An Lushan as a foster son might also provide her with a backup plan for when Emperor Xuanzong of Tang passed away."

"This move allowed him to leap into becoming the foster son of the Emperor of the Great Tang—it was truly impressive!"

Lu Bu, watching from under the sky, had his eyes light up. This guy was incredible!

"I, Lu Bu, am willing to bow down to him!"

Then he thought, should he also recognize the Emperor as his father?

That way, he would be the Crown Prince of the Han Dynasty!