Chapter 34: The Inscrutable Li Longji!
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The Great Han.
After reading it, Emperor Wu of Han was deeply puzzled.
The Great Tang had been waging war nonstop as well, so why did it grow wealthier the more it fought?
And why the hell did I grow poorer with every war?
We were both dealing with these foreign tribes... so how did the results turn out completely different?
Exactly which part went wrong...?
Could it be that I, too, need to study military strategy and personally lead an expedition, just like that Li Er?
During the Hongwu era of the Great Ming.
When Old Zhu saw the Disease-Curing Pills awarded on the celestial screen, his breathing quickened.
Just as he had expected, the celestial screen surely possessed a way to cure his eldest grandson!
Old Zhu paced excitedly back and forth across the hall, his eyes fixed tightly on the screen as he calculated when his turn would come.
He did not ask for much: two Disease-Curing Pills, a Longevity Pill, and some potatoes and sweet potatoes would be enough!
...
During the Yongle era of the Great Ming.
After finishing the display, Zhu Di could not help but feel thoroughly convinced.
He and his idol had both been forced into coups. Li Er had launched the Xuanwu Gate Coup to protect himself, while his own Jingnan Campaign had likewise been an act of self-preservation, had it not?
Whenever he thought of that brat Zhu Yunwen's schemes, Zhu Di ground his teeth in hatred.
That damned fool called it reducing the power of the vassal princes? He was cutting off heads!
And why was Zhu Di so thoroughly convinced? There was one reason above all others: his idol had dared to launch a coup while his father and elder brother were still alive.
He had not dared. If he had shot his elder brother, he would probably have been buried alongside him the very next day.
Whenever he remembered that there was still a certain father in the group chat, Zhu Di felt a little uneasy.
His idol had used the Prosperous Reign of Zhenguan to endlessly diminish the stain left by the Xuanwu Gate Coup.
Zhu Di could not help wondering whether he could do the same.
Could the Yongle Encyclopedia redeem him?
...
At the same time, the celestial-screen group chat was also bustling with activity.
Li Er of the Great Tang: “Am I awesome or what? I’m asking you all—am I awesome or not?”
The First Emperor of the Great Qin: “Leaving everything else aside, killing your elder brother and younger brother puts you on the same level as that brute from my family!”
The Wild Boar of the Great Han: “Setting morality aside, you were at least a competent emperor. I’m just baffled. Why did you grow richer the more you fought, while I grew poorer?”
Li Er of the Great Tang: “Hahaha... First Emperor, I wouldn’t dare compare myself with that fellow from your family. I can’t compete with him. He exterminated his entire clan, and even destroyed the Great Qin that you failed to wipe out. I can’t compare... I simply can’t~”
[Your group member, the First Emperor of the Great Qin, has gone offline!]
Inside Xianyang Palace!
Ying Zheng was so furious that he smashed another gemstone.
“Outrageous! How dare he mock me like that!”
You had better pray that no incompetent ruler appears in your dynasty.
You may mock me once...
But I can mock you countless times!
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Within the group chat...
Li Er of the Great Tang: “@Wild Boar of the Great Han. All I can say is: don’t fall in love with me. I’m only a legend. Besides, you merely happened to have a good father. With the way you fought on all four fronts, it would have been strange if you hadn’t gone broke!”
The Wild Boar of the Great Han: “I XXX your XXX!”
The Emperor Who Is Not Free: “Awesome! By the way, I also have a son named Yang Shimin. I’ll introduce you two someday! (dog-head) @Li Er of the Great Tang!”
Li Er of the Great Tang: “??? Who are you? Emperor Wen of Sui?”
The Emperor Who Is Not Free: “Congratulations, you got it right. I’m holding you in my arms and taking a dump on you right now, obedient son! (dog-head)”
Li Er of the Great Tang: “Damn... damn it! If you’re going to act like this, do you believe I’ll dig up your ancestral graves? (furious)”
The Emperor Who Is Not Free: “If you dare, I’ll send your entire clan down to join you! (pouting)”
The Emperor Who Is Not Free: “Besides, if I acknowledge you as my son, think about it—wouldn’t that make you my father’s equal in seniority? The next time you meet him, he’ll have to call you cousin! And if I, the Sage Khan, give birth to the Heavenly Khan, how could that possibly be anything but reasonable? (thinking)”
A Broken Bowl: “Reasonable... one word: brilliant!”
The Yongle Great Emperor: “Same!”
The Wild Boar of the Great Han: “Same!”
The Archmage: “@A Broken Bowl, why are you calling me? Do you want to watch a meteor shower too?”
Li Er of the Great Tang: “Damn! You win! (helpless)”
[Your group member, Li Er of the Great Tang, has gone offline!]
...
At that moment, the image on the celestial screen shifted, and the ranking of the greatest brothers of all time refreshed with a new title.
Many people in later generations who knew of this man could not help sighing.
How should one put it? If he had lived twenty years less, he could have been called the greatest emperor in history.
But his bewildering conduct in his later years was simply beyond words...
Even dogs would shake their heads after seeing it!
At that moment, the celestial screen displayed:
[The Greatest Brother in History, Mysterious Beyond Measure, Half Man and Half Demon, the Half-Emperor of Bewildering Conduct—Great Tang, Emperor Xuanzong, Li Longji!]
The Great Tang.
Li Er had still been somewhat displeased over the matter involving Emperor Wen of Sui.
Although... what the man had said did make some sense.
It was indeed rather reasonable for a Sage Khan to give birth to a Heavenly Khan.
But damn it, you want me to call you Father? How dare you?
Don’t you know that filial affection between father and son and brotherly harmony are my greatest specialties?
Then he saw the title on the celestial screen, and Li Er’s already gloomy face grew even darker.
It was practically turning black.
“Youngster, you had better pray that the Great Tang did not fall in your hands. Otherwise, I really will descend upon you!”
And what exactly was this business about being a half-emperor throughout history?
During the Kaiyuan era of the Great Tang.
Li Longji had been drinking and chatting leisurely with Yang Yuhuan when he saw the title on the celestial screen.
He rose stiffly to his feet.
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Impossible. Impossible...
How could it possibly be me?
Since ascending the throne, I have worked with utmost diligence. I created the Kaiyuan Flourishing Age. How could I possibly appear on the ranking of history’s greatest brothers?
Yang Yuhuan was startled by Li Longji’s sudden movement. She quickly rose and supported him, asking softly, “Your Majesty, what is the matter?”
Li Longji raised a trembling finger toward the celestial screen. Even his voice was shaking.
“My beloved, look. It actually says that I am some sort of half-emperor throughout history, and it has even placed me on the ranking of history’s greatest brothers. This is absolutely impossible!”
Following the direction of his finger, Yang Yuhuan looked toward the celestial screen. Her heart jolted as well, but she still comforted him gently.
“Your Majesty, there is no need to worry. Perhaps everything the celestial screen says is not entirely correct. You created the Kaiyuan Flourishing Age, and your achievements are plain for all to see.”
Li Longji drew a deep breath, struggling to calm himself, but the fury in his heart refused to subside.
“I will certainly find out why this celestial screen is slandering me so!”
The Kaiyuan Flourishing Age he had created could be called unparalleled throughout all of history.
At the same time, upon the celestial screen!
The image shifted.
On Chang’an’s Vermilion Bird Avenue, people streamed back and forth. At a glance, envoys dressed in exotic garments could be seen everywhere. Shops stood in rows on either side of the street—wine houses, teahouses, cloth merchants, jewelry stores, and every other kind of establishment imaginable. The scene was vibrant and prosperous.
Cheers from the restaurants and the cries of merchants hawking their wares intertwined in the air. Commoners dressed in splendid clothing wore faces radiant with wealth and pride.
One magnificent carriage after another rolled slowly down the street. As the curtains stirred, the silhouettes of high officials and nobles could be glimpsed within.
The Eastern and Western Markets were even more boisterous, filled everywhere with shouts of approval.
Caravans of Persian merchants, loaded with treasures from the Western Regions, crossed paths with silk from the merchant ships of Jiangnan and celadon from the Yue kilns.
Inside the restaurants, foreign dancing girls moved gracefully to the music. The sound of pipa mingled with the sweet fragrance of grape wine as it drifted past vermilion pillars. Poets gathered together, composing verses and matching rhymes.
Before the Hanyuan Hall of the Daming Palace, acrobats wearing ten-foot stilts darted through the crowds as swiftly as flying.
The golden scales of the dragon-dance procession shimmered beneath the sunlight, while the cheers of the watching citizens soared into the heavens.
Every detail in the scene proclaimed the splendor of this golden age...
An unprecedented golden age!
An age in which all nations came to pay homage~
Upon the Grand Canal, merchant ships stretched for a hundred miles. Their sails blotted out the sky and sun. At the docks, the chants of the trackers mingled with the clamor of loading and unloading cargo, while grain barges laden with food broke through the waves as they headed north.
Inside jewelry shops, people in garments of every style haggled in a multitude of languages. Gold and silver coins piled into small mountains atop the counters. The clacking of abacus beads and the rustle of silk and satin together composed a grand hymn to the flourishing age.
At night, the revelry grew even more spectacular!
Millions upon millions of lanterns glowed in every color. Fireworks filled the sky, and the entire street shone as brightly as day. The proud citizens dressed in Tang garments, the splendid and dazzling streets—it all resembled a dreamscape.
The golden age was unfolding at that very moment...
Beneath the celestial screen!
The Great Qin.
After seeing this, Ying Zheng could not help wondering whether the celestial screen had made a mistake.
Such a flourishing age? And you are telling me it was created by a foolish ruler?
For a moment, he began to suspect that people in later generations had misunderstood the very meaning of a foolish ruler.
...
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