Chapter Two: Idle Talk at the Anle Duke’s Residence

For Zhang Ximiao, who had only just become a mother, the birth of Bi Ji was a momentous event, as though the world itself had been remade. But to the people of that day, the arrival of the Heir of the Prince of Peace and Joy was no more than a trifling matter.

After all, the fall of Shu Han had happened many years before, and ever since the former Han ruler Liu Shan had been enfeoffed as the Duke of Anle, he had remained under the constant scrutiny of the Jin court. Many of Shu Han’s old ministers had been summoned for service or scattered and resettled elsewhere; only two or three remained in the residence as retainers. By now, the old Duke of Anle, Liu Shan, had already passed away, and the existence of the new Duke of Anle, Liu Xun, seemed even more unnecessary. Thus, in the eighth year of the Tai Shi reign, the ducal mansion stood quiet and deserted, seldom visited.

Liu Xun knew this well. So when his son was born, he did not feel the genuine joy his wife did. Instead, a dark thought crossed his mind: another prisoner had been added to this house.

It was an inauspicious thought, especially coming from a father regarding his own child, and it was indeed cruel. Yet the thought had not arisen from nowhere. It was born of hard-won experience. The failures of more than twenty years had taught Liu Xun one thing: when a man can clearly and calmly look upon the failures of his own life, he no longer keeps smashing his head against the wall. Refusing to acknowledge one’s plight is, in truth, a self-deception destined to end in tragedy.

So when his wife went out to White Horse Temple to fulfill her vow, he remained at home and drank with his second brother, Liu Yao.

As they chatted idly about household matters, Liu Xun turned his head and looked out into the courtyard. The weather had grown mild. On the peach tree that the old Duke of Anle, Liu Shan, had planted with his own hands, green fuzzy peaches had already begun to form, faintly exuding their fruit scent. Drawn by that fragrance, perhaps, the courtyard was crowded with birds, chirping incessantly and setting his nerves on edge. At last he could not help but voice the thought on his mind.

“She’s lost her senses. Even our ancestors cannot protect us, so what use is it to go and make vows before a bodhisattva?”

“Even if it did work, what good would it do if word reached the Taiji Hall? Would that be a blessing? Would His Majesty be pleased to say, congratulations, congratulations, may your house’s name be ever more illustrious?”

There was self-mockery in his words, but also a cutting sneer at the court, which pleased Liu Xun greatly. He laughed at his elder brother, raised his cup, drank deeply, and had it filled again.

But such self-deprecation only drew a reproachful look from Liu Yao. Though they had agreed to drink together, Liu Yao had not yet lifted his cup. He was a cautious man, and though he understood his younger brother’s bitterness, he could not agree with so self-destructive an attitude. So he said:

“Sixth Brother, you have inherited the title. You are the head of the household. To keep harmony between husband and wife, to cherish your family, to serve your superiors with due respect—these are the things you must attend to.”

“Besides, now that you are a father, things are no longer as they were. You must set an example for the child. You should not speak carelessly.”

When the lecture was over, there was no smile left on Liu Xun’s young, pale face. He nodded and said yes twice, and then, as though abruptly awakened from a dream, his anger surged forth.

“So Brother thinks I’m heartless, then!”

“No—” Liu Yao inwardly cried out that this was bad. He had not meant to strike such a sore point so directly, and tried to salvage the matter, but it was already too late.

“Do you think I wanted it this way?!”

Liu Xun slapped his knee hard, his expression agitated. Then he fell silent, and before he knew it, his eyes were red. After a long while, his voice turned hoarse.

“I may be called a county duke, but I hold no office, no post at all. I can only remain trapped within this little corner of a residence, and everyone keeps their distance from me. And that name, Duke of Anle—how many people are mocking it behind my back, who can say? I have lived this long only by clinging to life in humiliation, under soft confinement. What else am I supposed to do...”

He could not go on.

Liu Yao said once more, “The world is full of uncertainty. No matter where one stands, one must keep hope in one’s heart.”

His voice was low, but each word was measured and firm.

As noted before, the predicament Liu Xun described did indeed exist. Yet to examine it closely, it had been somewhat exaggerated. The court had certainly dismantled the power of Shu Han with deliberate precision, but to the Sima clan, which had held power for many years, a duke’s household with neither authority nor soldiers was nothing more than a decorative emblem. It posed no real threat, and thus the Son of Heaven had not devoted much thought to it. As for how much vigilance there truly was, that was probably only Liu Xun’s own wounded imagination.

Liu Yao, now serving as a compiler in the imperial literary bureau, understood something of the emperor’s intentions. He had hoped to seize the occasion of a birth in the household to comfort his younger brother. Unexpectedly, after only a few words, the Duke of Anle had reverted to his former dejection, leaving him both helpless and sympathetic.

But Liu Xun, still speaking in resentment, said, “The others I can understand. Wen Li, for example—he was a minister of Shu and served our family for many years. These past years he has held office in Luoyang, yet he has never come to see me. And then there are Shi Zhou and his disciple in Shu. So many years have passed, and they have not even sent a single letter...”

Liu Yao rose at once and reprimanded him. “You’re drunk! What nonsense are you talking? You were just saying that you live only by clinging to life, and now you don’t understand that others must avoid suspicion as well?”

After the fall of Shu Han, the most awkward position was not only that of the Duke of Anle, but of Shu Han’s surviving ministers as well. Men like Li Mi and Xi Zheng had to balance the old bonds of ruler and subject against the need to survive and serve under the new dynasty. Though their achievements were plainly evident, they were often suppressed by other Jin officials, and their appointments drifted only between county magistrate and commandery administrator. The other Shu ministers took this as a lesson and avoided contact with the Duke of Anle’s household. In Liu Yao’s view, that too was understandable.

Hearing his brother’s rebuke, Liu Xun still wore a look of disdain. Fortunately, he was indeed somewhat drunk and did not linger on the matter. Instead, he got up, pulled Liu Yao back down, and said,

“Second Brother, I’ve long since come to terms with it. There’s nothing wrong with living this way. What I said just now was only for the child’s sake.”

“His mother is so full of hope for him. Better to spare him future disappointment and simply let him be a wealthy idle man...”

As he spoke, footsteps sounded in the broad corridor. It was Ximiao’s maid, who announced, “The madam has returned.”

The two men were startled and looked at each other. The brothers hastily rose, preparing to greet their widowed sister-in-law.

“No need for ceremony. Stay seated. That will do nicely.”

A clear voice came from outside. Fei Xiu entered with a bright smile. “Oh? Why is it only you two brothers here? Where are the Fourth and the Seventh? Gone off to find someone for another ox competition?”

Though Fei Xiu was already well into her thirties, she wore a plain cross-collar dress and a falling-horse bun, and still possessed a lingering grace and charm. Holding the month-old Bi Ji in her arms, she looked all the more dignified and affectionate. The Fourth and the Seventh she mentioned were Liu Zan, the fourth son of the old Duke of Anle, Liu Shan, and Liu Qian, the seventh.

“The weather is wonderful today,” Fei Xiu said with a smile after Liu Xun nodded in agreement. Rocking the infant in her arms, she went on, “When I accompanied my sister to fulfill her vow, the pear blossoms were already in full bloom all along the road, and I even saw little groups of orioles. How quickly time passes. It feels as though Bi Ji was born only last night.”

“Come, take the child.” She handed Bi Ji to Liu Xun, then drew a talisman pouch from her sleeve and carefully fastened it around the baby’s tender neck. After that she said, “There’s a charm inside, one I asked for from Master Zhang of the Celestial Master’s House. They say it can open a child’s mind. You must keep it safe for him.”

Since the death of his elder brother Liu Xuan during the unrest in Chengdu, Liu Xun had always treated this widowed sister-in-law with great respect. Hearing this now, he was deeply moved.

“Master Zhang’s charms are worth a fortune. How did Sister-in-law obtain one?”

“My father left behind a set of chess pieces and a board, didn’t he? I took them to Master Zhang’s residence today, and exchanged them for this.”

Fei Xiu spoke lightly, but Liu Xun’s heart ached as he listened. He knew that it had been the only heirloom left by Fei Yi, the former Shu Han Grand Marshal, and its value could not be measured in gold or silver. He murmured,

“That is such a pity. Why do this?”

“Chessboard and pieces are only dead things. How could they compare to a child? You, really, you think too much.” Fei Xiu gently lifted Bi Ji and laughed aloud. “Little Bi Ji, compared to your great-grandfather, your father is still far behind... Since you were born here in the Duke of Anle’s household, you too must become a gentleman like your great-grandfather—unceasing in effort, ever striving onward!”

With that, she set Bi Ji down and kissed his smiling face.

Her words had been in perfect accord with Liu Yao’s earlier remarks, making it hard for Liu Xun to bear. Yet because he respected Fei Xiu, he could not flare up at her as he had at his brother. He could only suppress his thoughts and change the subject.

“Where is Ximiao? Wasn’t she out with you?”

“Ximiao is still at White Horse Temple. She said she wanted to pray for Bi Ji before Vaisravana, chanting the scriptures a hundred times, and told me to bring Bi Ji back first.”

Liu Xun was far from pleased to hear this, and in his heart he even felt a trace of jealousy toward his own son. In all his life, he had received more indifference than affection. What had this child done to deserve so much devotion? But he could not say it aloud, so he only repeated, “Was that really necessary?”

Fei Xiu seemed to see through his displeasure. She looked straight at Liu Xun and said, “Sixth Son, the sorrowful fate of women is something men can never truly understand. Life’s splendor and vanity, partings and deaths, are all like dream and illusion. No matter what hardships a woman endures in this world, she can hardly live for herself. So she can only be a mother, thinking for her children and hoping that generation after generation will flourish in prosperity.”

“Then Sister-in-law means... you truly expect this child to bring honor to the family in the years to come?”

Looking at the bewildered Duke of Anle, Fei Xiu could not help but sigh. She said no more on the subject.

Some truths can never be fully explained.

In many men’s world, life is a battlefield that worships force. If one does not succeed, one has failed; if one cannot survive, then one is destroyed. There is no third judgment.

But in truth, success is sometimes not so important. In the long view, everyone dies, which means everyone fails in the end. At such a time, one might as well step outside that logic and rediscover one’s attitude toward life: if a person lives earnestly each day and does not waste the time allotted to them, then what is there to care about in success or failure?

What a mother hopes for is no more than this: that her children may discover the scenery inherent in life itself.

Yet at this moment, she still followed Liu Xun’s lead, reached out, and teasingly touched little Bi Ji beneath the chin, until he laughed aloud. Then she said to Liu Xun,

“Who knows? Perhaps thirty years from now, he may even become a provincial governor.”