18. How dare you eat that!!?

"You don't even dare to eat her [censored], and you still have the nerve to say you love her!"

"Whether I love her or not is none of your damn business, and it certainly has nothing to do with whether I eat this thing or not!"

"If you don't eat it, it means you don't love her!"

"No, are you insane!?"

At night, after a busy day, Master Herbert retreated alone into his private space and began to argue with an online entity.

He had just been informed of the absurd procedure: "The way to absorb magic power is to consume the materials of the magical beast!"

Is this even right?

After bickering with the God of Chaos, Herbert looked down at the palm-sized, iridescent scale, his expression twisting slightly.

He took a look.
It shimmered with seven colors under the light; it had an excellent luster.

He took a sniff.
It possessed a rich, fragrant aroma, completely devoid of the briny, fishy smell typical of seawater.

He tried a lick.
The taste was slightly sweet, with no peculiar aftertaste.

Determined, he went for a bite... *Click.*

"Pfft... hehe."

Herbert burst into a chuckle.
So, it turns out that when a person is truly speechless, they really do laugh out loud.

Hey!
You want to know what happened?

He couldn't bite it.
He couldn't bite it at all!

No, how am I supposed to eat this?

*Slap.*

Herbert slammed the scale onto the table and shouted, "You evil spirit, are you mocking me on purpose!?"

Damn it.
I should never have trusted you, you God of Chaos, from the very beginning!

"I have never lied to you, you know~"

Nienasha didn't mind Herbert's fury; judging by her tone, she was struggling to contain her laughter.
Oh, wait.
The Evil Goddess wasn't even trying to hide it.

"Don't go spouting nonsense; I never told you to gnaw on it directly!"

"But I didn't expect... pfft, hahahaha! You cute thing, you actually tried to bite into it! Hahahahaha~"

Her laughter was wanton, unrestrained, and the charming, silver-bell-like sound even held a hint of lewdness.

"...Tch."

After laughing for a long time, she finally stopped her hysterics before Herbert reached his boiling point.
But her voice still brimmed with mirth as she giggled, "My dear ally, don't be angry! It was just a little joke. If you keep frowning like that, you're not going to be much fun!"

"No, I'm currently contemplating whether I can just swallow it whole."

"Huh?" Nienasha was confused, unable to keep up with Herbert's erratic train of thought.

It was just a joke; a laugh and it would have passed.
But Herbert was no longer angry; he was focusing all his energy on how to get it into his stomach.

"There is no food that cannot be eaten; it is all in the preparation and the balance of flavors." — *Youyang Zazu: Food and Drink*

The ancients were right; there are only delicious things and hard-to-eat things in this world, but nothing that cannot be eaten.

Seeing Herbert lost in thought, Nienasha tentatively asked, "Um..."

"Let me think how to do this. Should I stir-fry it? Deep-fry it? Or sauté it?"

"Hey~ are you still there~"

"Deep-fry? Pan-fry?"

"...Are you listening?"

"Stew? Braise? Sear?"

"HA!!!"

A thunderous roar that shook his very soul exploded in his heart, startling Herbert so much that he nearly tumbled off his chair.

He took a long moment to recover, looked up blankly, and asked, "Why are you yelling so loud?"

"Before you say something like that, why don't you recall what you were just doing?"

"I just didn't answer you, does that warrant scaring me like that?"

Herbert retorted righteously, not feeling he had done anything wrong.
After all, they were equal allies; if you can tease me, I can ignore you.
The rule of thumb is: don't spoil anyone.

"Heh, Paladin."

"Heh, Evil Goddess."

After the cold retort, Herbert drew his sword and attempted to cut the scale with the blade.
Herbert's sword was no ordinary piece of steel; it had been gifted to him by the Frost Crystal King himself upon his coming-of-age. It was rumored to have been forged by a legendary figure of the royal family.
Although it was only of high grade, its hardness was no less than that of a legendary weapon!

*Sshhh—*

With a harsh, grating sound, they parted. The iridescent scale only bore a very fine notch, shedding a tiny amount of crystalline, shimmering powder.

"..."

Herbert looked at the powder scattered on the table, a sudden thought flashing through his mind. He leaned down and moved closer.
He pursed his lips and took a sharp inhale.

*Suck—*

"Too! Too! Too! Too... too choking! *Cough! Cough, cough!*"

He hadn't dared to inhale through his nose for fear of sneezing, but he hadn't expected the powder to get sucked directly into his throat.

The powder of the iridescent scale was unexpectedly spicy, irritating him so severely that he coughed uncontrollably, feeling as if he were about to cough up his own windpipe.

"..."

Nienasha watched him quietly as if observing an idiot for a while, before finally letting out a helpless sigh: "Aha, this is really..."

Honestly, the Evil Goddess felt a tiny bit of regret now.
It was too hasty.
She shouldn't have judged so easily that this guy was qualified to be her partner.
Look at him.
Isn't he just a fool?

"Forget it. Although the process is wrong, it's barely feasible."

She finally stopped sitting on the sidelines and took control of Herbert's left hand. Her fingertips slid across the blade, leaving a small, sharp wound.
Then, she pressed his index finger against the iridescent scale, and a drop of crystalline blood fell onto the scratch.

"Cough, cough, what is this, blood, cough, blood oath? *Cough, cough!*"

No, what era is this? Are we really doing something so old-fashioned?

Just as Herbert was busy complaining between coughs, a strange change occurred.

*Hiss—*

It was as if it had touched a searing iron; the scale was instantly eroded by the blood, transforming into a mist of blood that rushed into his throat.

*Gulp.*

It was like swallowing a mouthful of boiling water straight from the kettle. Herbert's expression twisted and warped instantly, a suppressed growl forcing its way out of his throat.

"Hiss—it's not hot! *Cough, cough!*"

Burning.
He felt as if his throat were being burned through, and his very soul was shriveling under the intense heat.
But just as Herbert was painfully searching for a cup of cold water to douse the sensation, the burning feeling receded like a tide.

In less than a breath, all the pain vanished without a trace, as if it had all been a hallucination.

Without giving Herbert time to think, another sensation—cool and refreshing, like soaking in a hot spring—spread throughout his body.
He seemed to hear the sound of ocean tides.

*Whoosh—*

He opened his eyes and found himself in the middle of a surging, vast ocean, rising and falling with the waves.
Yet, surprisingly, Herbert felt no fear.
Because he heard a melodious song drifting from afar.
He should not have understood that ancient language, but he seemed to grasp the meaning of the song.

The song told a story.
An ancient and poignant story—