Volume Five: The River’s Breath and Days of Old, Chapter 124

One year ago, Shanjingshi City.

The divine maiden looked down at the youth lying in a pool of blood, a sensation like countless icy needles piercing her heart spreading throughout her entire body. She felt as though she might collapse to the ground at any second.

Perhaps she would only ever feel endless guilt and regret toward the youth, but the blood-stained memories revealed by the Kunlun Mirror were far too vivid, far too indelible. Tu Shan’yan dying beneath a rain of mystic arrows; Yun Xiang perishing in the dark abyss of the Night-Veiled Sky; the high priest trapped amidst the masses; the fallen gods; the celestial mountains vanishing in raging flames; the youth’s white-clad figure as he stepped onto the Execution Platform—all these events, past and future, drilled into Jinli’s mind like frame-by-frame scenes of a nightmare. Even though she refused to believe that this was the truth, that this was the youth’s ultimate end, the overwhelming scent of blood in Shanjingshi City, the utter devastation, the fall of Yeming, and the emergence of the Shark Demons all dragged her back to reality.

Perhaps everything should come to an end. Perhaps, from the very beginning, she should never have been entangled with him at all. He was her trial, just as she was the catastrophe of these six realms.

The youth crawled upon the ground, coughing up mouthfuls of blood. As he looked up at her, his eyes were filled with disbelief and a faint, lingering fear. He whispered desperately, "No, no, it’s not like that. I didn’t kill him. I didn’t kill him."

The maiden fought back her tears. Her eyes were brimming, yet the droplets refused to fall.

She could not bear it. She could not bear to see the youth reduced to such dust, yet he was the very existence that all the Four Seas and Eight Desolations feared. In the future, he would topple the Nine Heavens and ascend that high throne of the Heavenly Monarch.

The divine platform collapsed; the high altar burned to ash.

And yet, amidst the heavenly fire, he would be ground to dust and scattered to the winds...

A tragic end.

Ah Yuan, you once died for me. This time, let me protect you, will you?

I have failed you. From start to finish, I have failed you. In your next life, you need not forgive me.

"You are not worth it." As she spoke these words, her heart seemed to tremble. She did not know if her voice was quivering, but for that moment, all she could think of was for someone to take him away.

The youth wept until he finally lost consciousness. When she looked back, Jiang Ji had already led men to carry him away.

She gazed into the distance at the celestial shadows fading into the horizon and finally could no longer hold herself up. She collapsed to her knees, the pain in her heart numbing her entire body. Her breathing grew shallow, and tears began to stream down her face, unstoppable.

When Sang Li arrived, she remained sitting there in a daze. Everything in Shanjingshi City felt like a dream. Si Wan sat beside her, silent and still, simply keeping her company.

The maiden hugged her knees, slowly curling into a ball, cowering in a corner where no one could see her. To Sang Li, it seemed as if Jinli would shatter if touched.

Perhaps this was what it meant to love someone to the very marrow of one's bones.

Sang Li wanted to step forward to comfort her, but his legs would not move. He lowered his eyes, filled with deep regret. He was always too late; he always missed his chance. With another shadow appearing in his own mind, he realized he could no longer be with Jinli. In the end, he turned away.

"Your Highness the Crown Prince."

Sang Li turned at the sound to see a man with a gentle and refined air standing before him in long robes. He wore a hair crown, his black hair kept in meticulous order, and he stood with his hands behind his back, holding a folding fan.

"High God Jincheng."

Jinli’s elder brother.

Jincheng nodded slightly and then cast a glance at Jinli in the corner. "Since Your Highness has made your decision, please go and attend to your duties."

Sang Li lowered his eyes. "The fallen blossoms have withered; everything is at an end."

After Sang Li left, the youth beside Jincheng crossed his arms and asked innocently, "Master, what did the Crown Prince mean by that?"

Jincheng sighed and tapped him on the head with his fan. "You will understand when you grow up."

He then walked toward Jinli. "Nan'nan."

Jincheng rarely addressed Jinli by this name. Seeing Jincheng, Si Wan rose to pay her respects before departing.

Jinli lifted her face from her arms, her cheeks streaked with tears. She looked utterly pitiful.

Jincheng crouched before the maiden, raised his hand to gently wipe away her tears, and offered a warm, comforting smile. "You won't look pretty if you keep crying."

Jinli’s lips began to tremble. Jincheng looked at his sister, his eyes full of heartache.

Behind Jincheng, Lin Xian spoke up, "Master, I will go and help."

Jincheng nodded. He pulled Jinli into his embrace and gently stroked her hair.

"...I almost killed him... I almost killed him..."

He must hate me to death.

Brother, Geng Yuan must hate me to death.

Jincheng comforted her, "No, it is not so. He will not hate you. He will not."

"We promised to face things together, to walk this path together. There wouldn't be any misunderstandings; we could talk through anything. I promised him I would never leave him again. But... I still hurt him."

Jincheng had heard bits and pieces of the story between Geng Yuan and Jinli, but they were disjointed. Once the embellishments were stripped away, perhaps those fragments were the true reality.

Tu Shan’yan had once told him that Jinli’s life had been far too smooth, which was why she stumbled so heavily when it came to matters of the heart.

As she spoke, Jinli drifted into unconsciousness. Jincheng felt deep pain for his sister, but beyond that sympathy, there was nothing he could do.

Perhaps this ending was a form of liberation for them both.

As Jincheng carried Jinli away, Lin Xian approached, glanced at the maiden in his arms, and asked, "Master, where are we going?"

"I am taking Nan'nan back to Lianchuan. You stay here for a few days to assist them. If anything happens, remember to tell me; I will come."

The youth nodded. "Do not worry, Master. I know what to do."

Jincheng nodded and left.

When Jinli finally awoke, she did not know how many days had passed. She sat alone on the bed, dazed, until the door was gently pushed open. It was Sang Li, carrying a bowl of medicine. He avoided her gaze when he saw she was awake.

"A-Li, are you feeling better?"

Jinli nodded, saying nothing more.

Sang Li set down the medicine and fell into silence. After a long while, he spoke, "You still have this sword?"

Jinli looked up at the wooden sword hanging on the bookshelf.

She remembered. Sang Li had made it for her when they were children, back when they went up the mountain together to seek a master and learn the arts.

Her gaze flickered, and she slowly lowered her eyes.

Sang Li found himself at a loss for words. He simply picked up the medicine bowl, blew on it, and said, "A-Li, drink your medicine."

Jinli took the bowl, drank in silence, and after finishing, pulled the quilt over herself to sleep again. Even though she could barely sleep, and even though her dreams were nothing but barren wastes, she lay down anyway—to avoid the conversation, to avoid speaking with anyone at all.

And so, Jinli remained, joyless and sorrowless, silent for ten long days.