Chapter 34: My Sorrow Flows Like a River

Fang Jun was no fool. He could more or less guess that the palace sending him a beautiful young palace maid wasn't simply to provide him with a "mistress" in such a base sense.

Legend had it that aristocratic families in ancient times practiced a very pragmatic tradition: before a daughter was married off, they would dispatch one or more "chamber maids" to the future son-in-law's home. Their purpose was to instruct the new husband in the intimate affairs of marriage and, incidentally, to verify that he was not afflicted with any foul diseases.

This was essentially the most primitive form of "trial marriage." For a new groom, marrying a young lady and getting two chamber maids thrown into the bargain was simply wonderful.

However, even if you beat Fang Jun to death, he would never have guessed that the reason Li Er—the Emperor—sent a palace maid was not to teach him any "experience," but purely to see if he was a "rabbit"—a euphemism for a homosexual.

Thinking of his future happiness, Fang Jun was so delighted his nose felt bubbly. He already had a personal maid at home named Qiao’er. In this era, personal maids usually ended up as concubines. Living under the same roof day and night, it was natural for feelings to develop. Furthermore, given the absolute dominance men held over women, taking advantage of the situation was a given.

However, the previous Fang Jun had been a complete dimwit and a block of wood, utterly oblivious to the charms of the young beauty. The current Fang Jun, however, was an adult shaped by modern education. While the petty, sleazy thoughts common to all men were unavoidable, he still had his bottom line; this was the generation gap between a modern man and an ancient one.

Most importantly, Qiao’er was too young and too familiar—hard to make a move on.

But this beautiful palace maid was a different story entirely. Fang Jun mused happily, humming to himself: "I want a home, a home with her, kisses in the day, hanky-panky at night, hanky-panky on the balcony, hanky-panky in the living room, hanky-panky in the kitchen, hanky-panky in the bathroom..."

It was too vulgar; he felt embarrassed to continue singing.

"What are you singing?"

Princess Gaoyang knitted her willow-leaf eyebrows, looking at Fang Jun on the stretcher with a suspicious expression.

"Ah? Nothing, nothing, *cough, cough, cough*..."

Fang Jun’s face flushed; he had almost forgotten the Princess was still there. If she had heard that, she would surely despise him to death.

"Hmph! Acting all mysterious, I can't be bothered with you! Let me tell you, you’ve picked up a huge bargain this time. The Wu girl isn't just an ordinary palace maid; she is the daughter of a meritorious official. You had better treat her well in the future!"

Regardless of how haughty or scheming she could be, Princess Gaoyang was still a young girl at heart. Her innate kindness hadn't been completely extinguished, and she felt a modicum of guilt toward the Wu girl. Because of her own involvement, this girl’s beautiful life, just as it reached its prime, was to be surrendered to a "sleeve-cutting, peach-sharing" rabbit who preferred the company of men. It was truly too tragic.

Fang Jun was startled. "The daughter of a meritorious official? You're kidding, right?"

If the daughter of a meritorious family entered the palace, wouldn't she at least be titled a Lady of Talent? Could she just be given away so casually? That was nonsense!

Princess Gaoyang grew annoyed, her beautiful eyes widening. "Who would bother lying to you? You idiot... Let me tell you, the Wu girl is the second daughter of Ying State Duke Wu Shiyue, and she entered the palace of her own volition. She is drop-dead gorgeous; there isn't a soul in the Yeting Palace who doesn't envy her beauty. It’s really a bargain for a country bumpkin like you..."

Fang Jun retorted angrily, "Even though you are a Princess, you can't keep calling me a country bumpkin. How do I look like a country bumpkin?"

Princess Gaoyang curled her cute little nose in disdain, looking at him with utter contempt. "Lewd expression, dark complexion, coarse and burly, slovenly and unkempt... If you aren't a country bumpkin, then who is?"

Was he really that bad?

Looking in the mirror that morning, he had thought he looked quite decent. Even if he wasn't a "fresh meat" idol, he was at least a sunny, handsome youth...

Fang Jun was hit hard by this critique. Realizing that if he kept chatting with this haughty girl, he would start to doubt his own existence, he hurriedly waved at the Princess. "See you later!" Then he turned to the attendants and said, "Hurry up, let's go, headed home..."

Princess Gaoyang rolled her eyes prettily. "Get lost, sooner dead, sooner reincarnated..."

Fang Jun was so angry he nearly flipped backward.

The attendants bowed to the Princess and then hoisted the stretcher, trudging away with great effort. There was no helping it; although the second young master of the Fang family didn't look tall, his frame was solid as a rock and heavy as lead—carrying him was no small feat.

Another team carrying the Wu girl followed behind.

Fang Jun lay on his back, staring at the grey, hazy sky and the red walls and black tiles that drifted into his view. He felt a sense of unease, as if he had forgotten something.

What was it?

Fang Jun scratched his head, thinking for a long time before he realized why.

The name "Wu Shiyue" sounded familiar...

But he thought it over and over, and in both his past and present lives, he was certain he didn't know this person. Yet, why was it so familiar?

What else had he missed?

Wu Shiyue?

Ying State Duke?

The Wu girl?

The Wu girl... The Wu girl!

A flash of lightning seemed to strike Fang Jun’s mind. Stunned as if hit by a thunderbolt, he was left charred on the outside and tender on the inside, and he let out a loud, involuntary shriek!

Princess Gaoyang, surrounded by her maids, had only walked a few steps when she heard this heaven-shaking, earth-shattering howl. She trembled so violently her legs went weak, and she nearly fell on her backside. Enraged, she stopped and turned back to roar at Fang Jun, who was not far away: "Are you dying? What are you howling like a ghost for!"

Fang Jun ignored her completely, his mind entirely blank.

In ancient society, the concept of male superiority and female inferiority held sway; women were bound and oppressed by feudal rituals and held extremely low status.

Relatively speaking, women of the Tang Dynasty were fortunate.

They lived in a prosperous era of feudal society and an "open" one. This openness was reflected not only in political systems, foreign policy, and diplomacy but also in folk customs and marriage laws. They suffered less feudal restraint; they abandoned the traditions of not showing teeth when smiling, not standing by the door, and not appearing in public. Their social status was relatively high.

It was in such an era that many outstanding women emerged, and thousands of years later, people still talk about their names and deeds with relish.

Empress Zhangsun, Wu Zetian, Princess Gaoyang, Shangguan Wan’er, Princess Taiping, Yang Yuhuan, Xue Tao, Yu Xuanji...

They each had their own unique qualities, competing for brilliance in this open era.

However, the most legendary among them were Wu Zetian and Princess Gaoyang.

Fang Jun wanted to cry. Tears welled up in silence as the sound of cursing filled his ears...

You thieving heavens, are you trying to kill me?!

Giving me Princess Gaoyang as a wife, forcing me to constantly guard against being cuckolded, and bearing the danger of being incited by that woman to rebel... That would be one thing, but you also brought in Miss Wu?

I don't just have to guard against my wife cheating with a monk, I also have to guard against my concubine strangling my daughter to frame my wife, guard against my wife raising the banner of rebellion and getting me beheaded, and guard against my concubine butchering my son to change the name of the household head in the registry to her own...

Is this even a life worth living?

My sorrow has already become a flowing river...